OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau has ended his investigation into CERB fraud after his government discovered the money stolen is being hidden in foreign tax havens. The investigation began when the …
Tag: justin trudeau
Government urges Canadians worried about maxing out CERB payments to become police officers, get suspended with pay
OTTAWA — With Canada Emergency Response Benefit (CERB) payments set to end for many Canadians, the government is encouraging anyone with financial concerns to get hired as a police officer, engag…
Trudeau dangles suspected fraudster over balcony, demanding to know where his CERB money is
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is currently dangling local waiter Oliver Henderson over an apartment balcony, demanding repayment of all CERB funds paid to him. “You knew you were i…
Justin Trudeau still pausing
OTTAWA – This past Tuesday, Justin Trudeau took a 21 second pause before commenting on Donald Trump’s use of military action against protestors. Three days after the briefing, sources repor…
Trudeau promises to be aware of systemic racism in Canada as long as he doesn’t have to do anything about it
OTTAWA – As demonstrations erupted this week across the continent and the world to protest racism and police brutality, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau today made it clear that he is aware of…
But if you take away my assault weapons, I’m just a regular man with hundreds of small guns
By Bobby Stonehouse Not-my-Prime-Minister Justin Trudeau announced last week that Canada would be banning assault weapons, and I, for one, am P’d the F OFF. By doing this, JUSTIN has robbed me of…
Canadian man furious that Liberals infringing on his second amendment rights
Grande Prairie, AB – In the wake of Justin Trudeau announcing that his government will ban most assault style weapons, local man Hank Cook is demanding to know why the government thinks it …
To soothe nation, Trudeau delivers daily address in ASMR
OTTAWA – Realizing the traumatic nature of the current pandemic, Justin Trudeau has sought to further reassure Canadians by delivering his daily address in a whispering tone designed to eli…
Trudeau tides over nation’s sexually frustrated aunts by saying ‘moistly’
OTTAWA – During his daily COVID-19 press briefing, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau urged Canadians to wear a mask when talking to others since it prevents them from “breathing or speaking moi…
Trudeau airs a coronavirus update rerun, to see if anyone notices
OTTAWA – After several weeks of daily broadcast addresses on the government’s coronavirus response, Prime Minister Trudeau today decided to re-air a previous clip to see if Canadians would …
