OTTAWA – Officials at Carleton University held a press conference today, announcing their discovery that the long-thought-completed NHL playoffs are, in fact, ongoing. Graduate student Jaso…
Tag: hockey
Leafs fans sick of current ‘good but not good enough’ team going to love return of ‘we suck and our front office is chaos’ era
TORONTO – With Kyle Dubas out as GM of the Toronto Maple Leafs just weeks before crucial decisions have to be made about key players Auston Matthews and William Nylander, the fanbase is div…
Oilers and Leafs fans seamlessly transition from arguing about which team is going to win the Cup to which team shat the bed worse
TORONTO – Having spent much of the season locked in fierce online battles about whether the Leafs or Oilers would win the Cup, team fans have effortlessly moved on to discussing which team …
Panthers beat Leafs 3-3
TORONTO – The Florida Panthers ended the Leafs season in crushing fashion tonight, with a 3-3 OT victory. “We fought hard all year to give ourselves a chance to succeed,” said g…
Leafs pleased they could find a more creative way to devastate fans than just losing in first round again
Whatever city the Panthers play in, FL – Staring down a potential sweep to the Florida Panthers after turning in a truly horrendous effort in Game 3, The Toronto Maple Leafs say they are pl…
Leafs to continue celebrating Round 1 victory right up to moment they’re swept out of Round 2
TORONTO – The Toronto Maple Leafs continue to bask in the glow of their Game 6 victory over the Tampa Bay Lightning, finally ending the 19 year curse of being unable to get out of the first…
Vegas Golden Knights defeat Edmonton Draisaitls 6-4
LAS VEGAS – The Golden Knights opened up a 1-0 series lead in the Western Conference Semifinals last night, defeating the Edmonton Leon Draisaitls 6-4. “Glad we won but it was a tough…
Pathetic! Leafs fans that’ve been told to ‘win a round’ for 19 years actually celebrate winning a round
TORONTO – The hockey community was united in its disgust at Toronto Maple Leafs fans this weekend for celebrating boisterously after Toronto finally broke a 19 year playoff losing streak. &…
Hockey fans mourn loss of their only joke
TORONTO – The hockey community is devastated at the loss of their only joke with the Toronto Maple Leafs having advanced out of the NHL’s first round of playoffs for the first time since 20…
Leafs really excited to fuck this all up spectacularly
TORONTO – Still reeling off their astonishing come-from-behind win in Game Four against Tampa Bay, the Toronto Maple Leafs are showing renewed enthusiasm for the inevitable and complete collapse …