Abbotsford, B.C. – After swearing they weren’t going to make the same mistake this year, Jim and Marlene Smith once again scheduled their big fall orgy to take place on the same night as Ha…
Tag: Halloween
QUIZ: Is the call coming from inside the house?
It’s late at night. A storm rages outside. Thunder booms so loudly you’re starting to think the whole house might collapse. The lights flicker on and off, and the phone rings. You wonder to yours…
5 sexy joke Halloween costumes to spark an evening of ironic intercourse
Halloween. Pumpkins. Candy. Fun parties. And sex you as woman would otherwise feel shame for seeking out. Check out our Halloween guide below to make your perfect costume for trick-or-treating yo…
Report: Everyone at Halloween party wearing Stranger Things costume
FREDERICTON – Reports surfaced early yesterday morning confirming that every single attendee at the office Halloween party was wearing a Stranger Things themed costume. “I mean, we knew it …
Study: average household onto third box of Halloween candy by now
OTTAWA — A recent study at the University of Ottawa has concluded that 93% of Canadian households have already bought and eaten two boxes of candy intended for Halloween, and are working on a thi…
Dr. Deadgrave Scary-Boo struggling to think of fun Twitter name for Halloween
MIRAMICHI, NB – After racking his brain for hours, local ophthalmologist Dr. Deadgrave Scary-Boo has been unable to think of a clever Halloween themed name change for his Twitter profile. “…
Local adult “only has 2 weeks” to finish Halloween costume
PRINCE RUPERT – Despite being a 33-year-old adult male with a job and bills to pay, local copywriter Ben Gibson has expressed concern that he will be unable to complete his Edward Scissorha…
BREAKING: Police investigating after toothbrush found in child’s Halloween candy
MISSISSAUGA — Peel Regional Police are investigating after a child reportedly found a non-candy item in her trick-or-treat loot. “On the evening of the 31st, an nine-year-old child reported…
Margaret Wente renews demon blood-pact
CANADA – With All Hallows’ Eve approaching and 100 new moons having passed since her last engagement with the blood demon Vasnarskabb, Globe and Mail columnist Margaret Wente has rene…
Man born with giant paper-maché head ready for another Halloween
SURREY, BC — After a year of self-imposed exile, Daniel Gauthier, a man with a strange and rare genetic condition, plans to emerge from his home. Every October 31st, Gauthier, who was born …