Parkland, Florida – While visiting with survivors of the tragic school shooting in Florida, President Trump refused to call for gun control, and instead assured Americans, “the only thing t…
Tag: Guns
NRA unveils new line of guns designed to appeal to gay community
“We’ve always supported gay rights. Specifically the gay right to bear arms.”…
Republican lawmakers call recess to play “Good Guys with guns vs Bad Guys with guns”
WASHINGTON D.C. — GOP lawmakers called for a short break in Congressional proceedings to go outside and play their favourite game: “Good Guys with guns vs Bad Guys with guns”. “The only thi…
Armed poll-watcher forgets to vote
ASHE COUNTY, NC – After spending a full 13 hours standing next to his local polling station holding an AR-15, Arliss Connaught has suddenly realized that he forgot to vote. “Well shoot,” sa…
EDITORIAL: Stop freaking out because I’m waving this loaded gun around, by Maxime Bernier
By Maxime Bernier Can everyone please calm the fuck down? Tabarnak. Look, just because I’m reaching out to Canada’s firearms manufacturers and gun owners to raise money for my leadership bid, doe…
NRA releases statement regretting tomorrow’s shooting
FAIRFAX, VA – The National Rifle Association has issued a press release expressing its ‘sincerest regrets’ for the mass shooting that will, with ‘complete certainty,’ happ…
Filibuster on mass shooting interrupted by new, different mass shooting
WASHINGTON D.C. – Inspired by the recent mass shooting in an Orlando gay nightclub, Senate Democrats, led by Sen. Chris Murphy (D-Conn.), launched a filibuster to demand new gun control law…
NRA unveils new semi-automatic rifle that shoots thoughts and prayers
FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA – Responding to the latest mass shooting that has rocked the United States, the National Rifle Association today unveiled a new AR-15 assault rifle whose ammunition will b…
Trudeau says he is ‘proud to be a feminist arms dealer’
OTTAWA – Earlier today, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau reaffirmed his support for feminism, and for making billions of dollars in the sales of military supplies to despotic regimes, in an ho…
Assault rifles to give Toronto police confidence to handle scared teens with knives
TORONTO – Dozens of Toronto police officers will soon be equipped with semi-automatic assault rifles, which the force hopes will help allay some issues officers have had in dealing with fri…