BRAMPTON – In response to continuing accusations of greed-flation and price gouging, Loblaws has announced the launch of a nationwide chain of for-profit food banks. “We’re sensitive to the…
Tag: Galen Weston Jr.
Loblaws introduces new “Bread Price-Fixing Settlement” fee to all customers
BRAMPTON, ON – Following news that Loblaws will settle a class-action bread price fixing suit for $500 million, the company has announced that all products sold in their stores will now car…
Op-Ed: 30 days without Loblaws: how it improved my skin, digestion, and sex life
Op-Ed by Gayle N. Easton This past month, I decided to participate in Canada’s hottest trend since last summer’s troubling climate change temperatures: the national Loblaws boycott. I already gav…
To deter thefts, Loblaws to force customers to eat entire content of shopping carts before leaving store
BRAMPTON, ON – In their ever-increasing efforts to prevent customers from leaving the store without paying for their goods, grocery monolith Loblaws will now force all patrons to consume everythi…
Loblaws promises to lower grocery prices as soon as Leafs win three rounds in the playoffs
TORONTO – Loblaws announced this week that it will lower its record-breaking prices once the Toronto Maple Leafs stumble their way into a third round victory for the first time in their franchise…
Loblaws raises price of bread to exact amount of federal grocery rebate
BRAMPTON – In an effort to help Canadians struggling with inflation, Loblaws announced that they will be permanently pegging the price of bread to the exact amount of money a single adult i…
Canada announces tax-free grocery savings account
OTTAWA – As part of their latest budget, the Trudeau Liberals have announced an additional measure to help financially squeezed Canadians: a new tax free savings account to help Canadians s…
Galen Weston liberates No Name brand from shackles of tyrannical price freeze
BRAMPTON, ON – Galen Weston, billionaire philanthropist and benevolent overlord of the Loblaws grocery empire, has graciously announced plans to liberate No Name brand products from their unjust …
Man caught stealing eggs from Loblaws charged with theft over $5,000
VANCOUVER — Police working with Loblaws store security have managed to foil a brazen daytime robbery of the Grandview Highway Superstore location, the suspect almost making off with two dozen egg…
Poll: Majority of Canadians willing to vote for whatever politician promises to slap Galen Weston Jr. in the face
OTTAWA – A recent Angus Reid study has confirmed that Canadian voters are not sure who they will support in the next election, and are willing to give their support to whichever candidate p…