GUELPH, ON – Local accounts manager Mary Nierling confirmed today that there are only three meals she knows how to make and she is completely disgusted by all of them at this point. “I was …
Tag: food
Beans lose classification as Magical Fruit
OTTAWA – In a controversial decision, the Canadian Plants Council has reclassified beans, from Magical Fruit to common legume. “We all know the saying,” said Monica Lee, the President of th…
Nation celebrates first ever successful use of KD push-in tab
STEINBACH, MB – Canadians across the country are in awe as Manitoban Amelia Kristensen shared an image of a perfectly opened Kraft Dinner package online with a cleanly punched in tab. Cong…
True meaning of life safely hidden away in personal anecdote portion of online recipe
Laval, QC – Humanity’s quest to discover the fundamental truth about our existence has been solved, as it turns out to be located in the personal story section of a recipe for homemad…
