Canadians buy a lot of Christmas Presents. And while most should be from the Beaverton Merch Store, some aren’t. Here is our list of the most popular Christmas Presents in every province. N…
Tag: Featured Post
Leafs fake injury to star rookie goaltender to save 750k on the Cap
TORONTO – The Toronto Maple Leafs plan to circumvent the NHL’s Salary Cap continued again last night, with the team staging an obviously fake injury to Joseph Woll in order to save on…
Editorial: Women must date unpleasant men, and we’re not just saying that because we’re unpleasant men
By The Beaverton Editorial Board A spectre is haunting dating – the spectre of women not dating men like us. Dating and marriage used to be simple. A man chose a woman, her father approved,…
Boy realises the magic really was in that amulet and not inside him in the slightest
COMOX, B.C. — Local adolescent Graham Holley’s adventure in a parallel world came to a disappointing conclusion thanks to his foolish belief that there was magic in his own heart, and not in the …
Danielle Smith unveils Sovereignty Act Precogs able to tell when federal laws are unconstitutional before they pass
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Danielle Smith responded to criticism over her use of the Sovereignty Act to try to disqualify federal clean energy regulations that aren’t in place yet by …
5 Canadians in the NFL who might get to touch the football this year if they’re really good boys
Another NFL season is in full swing, and from handing players water bottles to losing rent money on ill-advised bets, Canadians are making an impact on the game. But did you know that some Canadi…
Worst job in every province
Due to capitalism and the fact that we weren’t all born into the Weston family, Canadians work lots of jobs. Here are the worst ones in each province. Newfoundland: The cod everyone kisses …
Poilievre stops making false claims about terrorism after concerned family member locks Fox News channel
OTTAWA – Following an embarrassing incident in the House of Commons in which a confused Pierre Poilievre began ranting about a terrorist attack in relation to a deadly vehicular accident in…
Airbnb hosts react to the Liberals’ crackdown on short term rentals
Ottawa has announced plans to curb income tax deductions for short term rental property owners as part of a push to get these properties back on the rental market. We asked several Airbnb hosts h…
Allure of handsome American traveller evaporates when he refers to toque as “beanie”
TORONTO — Jane Pryce’s near hook-up with attractive American tourist Zach Greer was narrowly averted when he unselfconsciously referred to his toque as a “beanie.” The twenty-seven year-old found…