WINNIPEG – The Public Health Agency of Canada has announced that it has reintroduced the deadly and highly infectious smallpox virus back into the human population so everyone learns the ha…
Tag: Featured Post
Clement announces return to social media by sending DM to every woman in his constituency
HUNTSVILLE, ON – Female residents of the Parry Sound—Muskoka electoral district were surprised to learn on Wednesday that their scandal prone MP, Tony Clement, was not only back at work in …
Billy Crystal stages coup in attempt to take over hosting Oscars
HOLLYWOOD – Unwilling to accept a hostless ceremony, nine time Oscar host Billy Crystal has staged a coup to take control over the event. “How dare they!” screamed Crystal as he led a milit…
TTC finally admits “signal upgrades” just code for Fuck Party in the subway tunnels
TORONTO – Toronto Transit Commission representatives have shocked the city by revealing that the commonly used explanation for subway closures – signal upgrades – is simply code for all TTC emplo…
Bombardier somehow misses deadline for train they weren’t contracted to make
MONTREAL – Following a long history of faulty products and broken contracts Quebec manufacturer Bombardier has missed a deadline for a train they were never contracted to make. “Our deepest…
Following copyright issue The People’s Party of Canada changes name to Maxime Overdrive
OTTAWA – After a B.C. man filed a court challenge claiming that he owns the rights to the name The People’s Party of Canada, the right wing political party founded by Maxime Bernier that ha…
Trudeau brags about having perfect gender balance among people he’s thrown under bus
OTTAWA – Showing politicians everywhere that it can be done, Justin Trudeau proudly announced that he had created complete gender parity with the people he was sacrificing to the political …
Man who has done nothing wrong spontaneously quits job for no reason
OTTAWA – Principal Secretary to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and completely innocent man Gerald Butts has resigned citing no reason in particular. The good-natured employee said that his s…
Local man wearing baseball cap in February like winter some kind of fucking game
CALGARY—Reports have confirmed that local dickhead, Tyler Brin, has been walking around, outside, in February in a piddling little baseball cap, as though cold weather is a funny little goddamn j…
Very important to Winnipeg man that you know it is currently colder in Winnipeg
WINNIPEG – Multiple sources are reporting that it is extremely vital to the health and wellbeing of a Winnipeg resident that everyone is made aware of the fact that the weather is actually …
