Despite “being forced” to lay off dozens of journalists this year, the CBC was able to afford paying $3.3 million to 45 executives, for an average of over $70,000.00 per person. We re…
Tag: Featured Post
Coppertone unveils new SPF 1,000,000 sunblock that shrouds land in eternal darkness
MONTREAL – As Canadians face another scorching hot summer, Coppertone has announced a new extra-potent sunscreen line that banishes the sun back behind the hills and mountains from which it dares…
Trudeau pays surprise visit to Ottawa
OTTAWA – In a move that caught lawmakers and everyday Ottawans off guard, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau took time out of his busy schedule attending multicultural events, food festivals, an…
Leafs announce that making Matthews captain is the best way to distract fans from fact they haven’t made any significant roster changes again
TORONTO – In a press conference scheduled for Wednesday, the Toronto Maple Leafs are expected to announce that, after much deliberation, they believe giving Auston Matthews the captaincy is…
Horrible teacher about to become even worse student
TORONTO – Former University of Toronto professor Jordan Peterson has agreed to take social media training in order to keep his license to practice psychology from the College of Psychologis…
Local woman waiting to return her missed calls until she’s on crowded bus
OTTAWA – Local woman Marlene Kovach has decided to wait to return all her calls until she can do so in the middle of a bus full of other people. “Sure I could call my mom when I get h…
Canadian tradition of giving children hammers at birth pays off
PARIS – The gold medals won this week by Canada’s Ethan Katzberg and Camryn Rogers in the men’s and women’s hammer throw at the 2024 Olympics have been a welcome and unexpected payoff of th…
10 more accurate insults for Pierre Poilievre than ‘weird’
In a “let’s just do what our American counterparts are doing but worse’ move that would make even Canadian tv broadcasters jealous, the Liberals are trying to take the weird ins…
5 tips for celebrating Saskatchewan Day, New Brunswick Day, Natal Day, Briti—wait, Natal Day? What the fuck?
HALIFAX – Another August long weekend is upon us, and whether you’re a Manitoban celebrating Terry Fox Day, a Vancouverite getting ready to enjoy British Columbia Day, or a Nova Scotian ringing i…
Lucky boy in Olympic audience catches shot put
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