Look, we all make mistakes. Sometimes we text the wrong person, or we miss an appointment, or we congregate with a crowd of thousands in the midst of a pandemic, contributing to the spread of a d…
Tag: Featured Post
Fuckable Canadians exempted from new mask recommendation
OTTAWA – Canada’s chief public health officer officially recommended this week that non-sexy Canadians wear face masks when they are unable to maintain a two meter physical distance f…
Student that received CESB blows it all on single PDF textbook
ORILLIA, ON – Several days after receiving $1,250 from the Canada Emergency Student Benefit, Jackson Briggs was surprised to find that he had immediately spent the totality of the money on …
5 great excuses not to hang out when you’re free all the time now and they know it
So you used to have a million excuses to get out of hanging out with your friends. But now that literally every single one of your plans are gone, and the whole planet is under house arrest, ever…
Family finally decapitates Minotaur inhabiting living room pillowfort
NELSON, B.C – All eyes were on the Galifinakis residence last Friday night as the family emerged triumphantly from their home with the severed head of the Minotaur that had been dwelling wi…
Air Canada CEO claims company is too busy firing employees to refund passengers
MONTREAL – Faced with mounting calls for the company to issue refunds to passengers whose travel was cancelled due to COVID-19 instead of just travel vouchers, Air Canada CEO Calin Rovinesc…
Introvert fine
HAMILTON – As COVID-19 self-isolation has taken a huge psychological toll on much of the population, local introvert Sangeeta Varma is reportedly kind of okay to be honest. Thanks to social dista…
Canadians celebrate isolated Victoria Day by exchanging love letters with their cousins
CALGARY – In lieu of family barbeques or trips to the lake, Canadians are observing this year’s Victoria Day by sending romantic missives to their cousins in honour of Queen Victoria’s lege…
Man who has barely left basement apartment in months really enjoying his rich friends’ cottage photos
TORONTO – Local man Jerome Wittels has been housebound in his 300 sq. foot basement apartment since the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown began, but says he is getting quite a lot of enjoyment see…
Despite food shortages, grocery stores report massive surplus of gluten free products
TORONTO – While the COVID-19 quarantine has resulted in some grocery stores dealing with food shortages, availability of gluten-free products remains at an all-time high. “People are desper…
