KINGSTON — Late last night, local father Paul Mallory gathered his family by the fire to recount many illustrious battles fought against major telecommunications providers. Speaking to his …
Tag: Fathers
Local dad starts work on emergency backup porch
KINGSTON – Local dad Henry Spurlock has begun construction on an auxiliary porch to be deployed in case of a major failure in the current primary porch. “So far the primary porch has operat…
Judgmental look from passerby convinces man to be better parent
WINNIPEG – Lives were changed at the Portage Place Shopping Centre this morning as a smug and condescending look from local woman Lydia Nost convinced up-til-then neglectful father Jason Mo…
Three guys who return foundling baby ruin hilarious premise
EDMONTON – The potential for gut-busting comedy and madcap antics has been extinguished after three unlikely bachelors, Joe, Moe and Perot, promptly returned a baby that unexpectedly arrived on t…
Bridge failure gives father, son extra time to sit silently in car on week long roadtrip
NIPIGON RIVER, ON — Thirteen-year-old Jacob Darville and his father, Gordon Darville, were condemned to an additional two days of excruciating silence, Sunday, after a key section of their …
Biological father, stepfather both show up to house wearing Santa costumes
CALGARY – Joshua Hughes, 7, suffered a mild Christmas trauma today when William Hughes, his biological father, burst into the family home in a Santa costume when stepfather James Cohen was …
Son, you weren’t an accident; you were a tax benefit
BY: CRAIG TOWNSEND, FATHER AND ACCOUNTANT My dear boy, you’re coming to that age where you might think that your mother and I didn’t expect to have you as one of our children. I can tell you that…
Local dad still doesn’t know how to operate Father’s Day gift
MISSISSAUGA – Danielle Norstrom has confirmed that after hours of “shouting and carrying on” the 2 terabyte portable media player and hard drive that their son Derek, 23, gave to her husban…
Dad not too keen on sushi
OAKVILLE—Witnesses are reporting that despite being open to it if others feel strongly about it, Dad is not incredibly keen on going to the nearby sushi restaurant favored by his family. “It’s ju…
Report: Nation’s dads still in the bathroom
CANADA – Reports are coming in from across the nation confirming that, despite taking more than enough time, Canada’s fathers have yet to exit the bathroom. “We don’t want to alarm anyone, …