TORONTO – In the wake of Pride weekend celebrations, Canada’s LGBTQ communities are entering the week with a renewed sense of solidarity and purpose. But the events of the weekend have also left …
Tag: father
Men: Here are 5 ways to get your slim, ripped winter body into peak “Dad Bod” for summer
Hey single men out there, we all know how hard it is to maintain that soft, perfect dad bod shape, the one that makes the ladies say, “Oh yeah, he’s definitely good father material.” We’ve all do…
Mom cannot remember title of favourite song
Napanee, ON —Despite a concerted attempt to summon helpful memories, and numerous prompting questions from family and friends, local mom Diane Peters is unable to recall the title, artist or era …
Dad escalates economic sanctions against son who will not get dressed
STELLARTON, NS – After finding his first round of sanctions ineffective in motivating his 5-year-old son to clothe himself, father of two, John Carlin, has vowed to increase economic penalt…
Hyper-realistic historical village only fun for affluent white man
TORONTO – While his wife and children suffered immense misfortune and strife, Tim Bailey, 48, the patriarch of an affluent caucasian family of four, is said to have had an absolutely lovely…
Local time-traveler worried he’s becoming his father
MONTREAL, 1973 – Local scientist Carey Holton says as he grows older and travels more and more through time, he’s concerned that he’s becoming the one thing he said he never would: his fath…
Dad approaches Home Depot employee like a well versed pick-up artist
ETOBICOKE – In what was an entirely nonsexual but definitely premeditated act, reports indicate that local father Peter Edwards, 55, approached Home Depot employee Garrett Sims, 22, with th…
Census data confirms households with children don’t care who started it, just apologize to your sister
OTTAWA – After analyzing the most recent Census data, Statistics Canada confirms that families with children under twelve years old aren’t in the mood to hear any of it, so just apologize t…
Local family celebrates daughter’s first training bra with ceremonial distancing of father
ST. CATHARINES, ON. – In a tradition dating back centuries, a local family’s youngest daughter, Dana Black, has been gifted her first training bra, a moment which is immediately followed by…
Help! I don’t know I’m a terrible parent!
Oh boy, am I in over my head! And the worst part about it? I don’t even realize it. Here I am, in the grocery store, when one of my kids asks me question. You know, the kind of basic question tha…