Etobicoke, ON – Aaron Harris, who will die in a waiting room of a myocardial infarction in three years, has announced to his family that he plans on voting for Doug Ford and his policy of a…
Tag: Doug Ford
Loyalty! This man signed up to support Doug Ford even though he’s dead
It’s election time in Ontario and Ford Nation is fired up! One man from Etobicoke is doing his part in the face of incredible adversity, and it’s inspiring AF! Darryl Homesworth signed up to be a…
Ontario Green Party leader Mike Schreiner unsure who to vote for
GUELPH, ON – With the campaign for the Premiership of Ontario now well underway, Ontario Green Party leader Mike Schreiner revealed that he is still undecided as to which party will earn h…
“You just don’t remember Bob Rae,” lectures Ontario man who doesn’t remember Mike Harris
GEORGETOWN, ON – A local Ontario man giving a history lesson to younger voters about the dangers of electing an NDP provincial government has failed to recall what happened when a PC provin…
Ontario voters galvanized by Andrea Horwath’s platform of ‘Hey, me I guess?’
TORONTO – The provincial New Democrats are booming in the polls, thanks to Andrea Horwath’s electrifying platform of ‘hey, at this point it’s either me or worse Rob Ford.’ “Good e-nough! Go…
Ford promises killing Greenbelt will finally allow oil pipeline between Barrie and Oshawa
TORONTO – Showing once again his keen mind for policy, Doug Ford has promised that destroying the Ontario Greenbelt will finally allow the kind of oil pipeline development that Canada has b…
I just really, really like smiles
By: Doug Ford You may have noticed I found myself embroiled in a bit of a scandal this weekend. No not the one where I suggested immigrants are not real Ontarians. The other one where I repeatedl…
Kathleen Wynne completes third draft of concession speech
TORONTO, ON – Liberal Party leader Kathleen Wynne announced this week that she has finished writing “the best draft yet” of her concession speech for the upcoming Provincial election. “Normally p…
Exclusive: The Beaverton has obtained the casting call sheet for the role of “Doug Ford supporters”
TORONTO – Doug Ford’s campaign has confirmed that actors were hired to play Ford Nation supporters outside the Ontario leaders’ debate Monday evening. It is tradition that parties shameless…
Doug Ford promises wife he’ll read just one more policy brief before heading to bed
TORONTO – Saying that it was important he “knew all the facts” before another day on the campaign trail, Ontario PC leader Doug Ford paused the Mozart he was listening to, put down his Earl…
