KITCHENER – Local man Dalton Strickland, whose data entry job regularly requires him to read dates off a form and put them into a computer, literally never knows which date is the day and w…
Tag: date
Terrible first date enters 7,200th second
MONTREAL — In a seemingly never-ending sequence of horrible moments, a first date between Melanie Tremblant and Danny Simpson has just entered its 7,200th second and currently shows no signs of e…
Activist begins Tinder date with land acknowledgement
TORONTO – Upon seeing one another in-person for the first time at local dive bar Scrungie’s, internet activist Dillon Sanders introduced himself to his date Rebecca Holder by way of a cerem…
Study confirming your life is weird and sad passes peer review
Toronto – A study confirming that you lead a bad and pathetic life has passed peer review: even though this has always been obvious, even to the layperson. “Obviously getting publishe…
Woman on date chooses to ignore red flag of water served in old salsa jar
PETERBOROUGH, ON – Arriving at her date’s home on a dinner invitation, Cynthia Masterson, 22, has reportedly decided to ignore the first glaring red flag of being offered a glass of water o…