TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford announced this week that in order to calm public uncertainty about what Ontarians are supposed to be doing to keep themselves safe during the COVID-19 pandemic, the pr…
Tag: childcare
Panicked uncle handles sleeping baby like old-timey crate of nitroglycerin
Woodstock, NB – Local uncle Grant Newsten, 32, has been reported by witnesses to be handling his newborn niece, Amelia Newsten, as if she is a rickety and highly explosive crate of long-aba…
Dear Babysitter: Here’s a quick summary of the lies we’ve told our children
Hi Babysitter! Thanks for coming over and taking care of our little ones! They are our pride and joy. Raising them to be responsible citizens has been quite the adventure! In the course of raisin…
Couple struggles to ferberize their smartphone
Halifax, NS – After purchasing their first family plan on Thursday, newlyweds Jerome and Anjelica Todd are struggling to ferberize their identical phones. “We knew it would be hard,” said A…
19-year-old finally gets into daycare after 19-year wait
London, ON – After waiting for almost two decades on a government waitlist, 19-year-old Chad Mendes is finally getting a subsidized daycare spot. The son of a single mother was placed on a …