Artistic elephant paints vivid description of how he was forced to paint by zoo officials
BANGKOK – A three year old Asian elephant named Mai-Mai has created several abstract paintings portraying his abuse by zoo keepers who forced the gentle giant to paint to entertain tourists…
Report: Stagecoach road trip was a terrible idea
MONTREAL — College friends Steve Bolan, Mark Cho and Doug Guinty reported yesterday after completing a road trip from Toronto to Montreal that taking on 700 kilometres of carefree highway would h…
Chinese cyber spies disappointed by Canada’s complete lack of scientific research
BEIJING – Chinese state-sponsored hackers were disappointed after hacking into Canadian government and business research archives and discovering they contained little to no valuable inform…
Study: 9 out of 10 people on fire don’t care about conflict in Middle East
EDMONTON – A new study has found high levels of apathy among Canadians towards the ongoing violence and chaos in Gaza, as 90% of individuals whose skin was currently ablaze with flames said…
Monsanto patents more efficient version of Dave
SECRET LAB, MOJAVE DESERT – Scientists and humanitarians the world over were astonished and appalled today, as the international biotechnology corporation, Monsanto, announced that they wer…
July 26, 1814: Heroic chocolatier Laura Secord defeats American forces with type 2 diabetes
QUEENSTON, UPPER CANADA – The prolonged American occupation of the Niagara Frontier ended last night after the majority of US troops withdrew thanks to the many sugar-rich, nutrient poor ch…
Feds drop Cancer Society’s charitable status after determining organization is politically biased against cancer
OTTAWA – The federal government has removed the Canadian Cancer Society’s charitable status after an CRA audit revealed the organization was conducting political activities with a strong pr…
Jason Kenney accuses SPCA of anti-Semitism after taking soft stance on Israel
OTTAWA – Minister of Employment Jason Kenney has had enough of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals long history of remaining silent on Israeli-Palestinian affairs. “Listen, I don…
Comic-Con fans eager to discover what they’ll spend next 12 months bitching about
SAN DIEGO – While San Diego prepares for this weekend’s 2014 Comic-Con International, fans of comic books and sci-fi are preparing to find out what they’ll spend the next year whining about…
