New 2TB thumb drive allows users to store, misplace lifetime of memories
Fountain Valley, CA – Kingston Technology has developed a 2TB flash drive which can store a lifetime worth of memories before users misplace it somewhere in their house or at work. The Data…
Quiz: How will you be complicit in the death of western democracy?
We all know that western democracy is dying, and that we all are complicit in its demise. But there are so many ways we as humans are contributing to the downfall of the modern world, it can be h…
Vancouver’s use of organic salt-alternative for sidewalks backfires
VANCOUVER – The City of Vancouver’s plan to use a more environmentally friendly alternative to salt has not been effective at reducing the ice that still coats most of the municipality’s si…
Breaking: douchebag facebook friend to run for Conservative Party Leader
Sydney, N.S. – Ending months of speculation and rumour, that annoyingly conservative guy from your facebook who you went to school with has announced that he will indeed run to be leader of…
Cure for cancer? These doctors eradicate cancer cells using only scalpels, radiation, and chemotherapy
Big news: using only traditional methods like scalpels, radiation and chemotherapy, a group of doctors at University of Alberta have managed to cure cancer in some patients. This could save milli…
Update: People you’re trying to get away from with camping trip also have free Parks Canada passes
CANADA – Early reports indicate that every person you would dread to see on your planned escape into one of Canada’s majestic national parks this summer will also be there thanks to the fed…
Elon Musk introduces latest; large clock ominously counting down
We may never know the purpose behind Elon Musk’s latest invention.…
Exhausted conservationist just going to focus on keeping rats from extinction this year
TORONTO – After decades of work during the greatest mass extinction since the Cretaceous, local conservationist Delina Jones is just going to set herself an achievable goal for 2017, by kee…
Experts: old celebrities to continue dying in 2017
The last 12 months claimed the lives of an exceptional amount of older celebrities including Alan Rickman, David Bowie, Carrie Fisher, Leonard Cohen and Muhammed Ali, just to name a few. However,…
Report: Canada’s champion hotdog eater has already eaten more hotdogs than you will in an entire year
SCHREIBER, ON – Before Canadians finish their dinners at 6:47 PM ET tonight, Canada’s competitive hotdog eater Darrell Rigby will have already consumed 58 hotdogs, one more than the annual …
