WASHINGTON – Members of the Tea Party Caucus have informed Americans that they will not vote to end the government shut down until it is made absolutely clear to them what exactly they are being …
World
NSA asks Americans to eavesdrop on each other during government shutdown
WASHINGTON – With the US government shut down, the National Security Agency is appealing to Americans to monitor the activity and conversations of their family, neighbors, colleagues and foreign …
Jack Ryan to avenge Tom Clancy’s death
BALTIMORE – After the passing of renowned author of several espionage and military thrillers, CIA analyst Jack Ryan is vowing revenge on whoever killed him. “Tom was one of my most trusted …
Political blizzard closes US government, schools remain open
WASHINGTON – One million US federal employees will stay at home today and possibly longer after Congress announced government closure in the wake of an ongoing nationwide political blizzard…
Local man excited the whole thing in Syria is over
MILTON – After weeks of worrying, Timothy Pond was relieved to hear the whole situation in Syria had been solved. Pond, a 46-year-old construction worker from Milton, believes the chemical disarm…
Political science major knows he could have handled Kenyan hostage crisis better
VANCOUVER – A third year political science student at the University of British Columbia is certain that the recent terrorist attack at a mall in Nairobi would have been resolved faster and…
Nintendo president runs out of lives but sets new high score
KYOTO – After a thrilling eighty five levels that saw him collect 2.1 billion gold coins, former Nintendo president Hiroshi Yamauchi has run out of lives and been sent back to the main menu…
Architects misplace new invisible building
SEOUL – Architects in South Korea have lost their new invisible building – the Tower Infinity – after it was last seen semi-constructed near Incheon airport outside of Seoul. &…
Chinese children celebrate Labour Day with record productivity
BEIJING – China is celebrating the announcement that its youths set a world record for productivity on Labour Day this year. Thirteen-year-old Lin Shenlun, stood proud in front of three tho…
UN condemns the use of child soldiers at Laser Quest
NEW YORK – In a move to further eliminate child soldiers, the UN has strongly denounced the use of children in laser tag warfare. General Assembly Resolution 2124 – which passed 183 t…
