FRESNO, CA – Across the United States young people who will turn eighteen by November 5 are expressing their excitement at being able to vote in the last presidential election of their life…
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OJ Simpson funeral to feature ceremonial televised white bronco chase
LOS ANGELES – With the passing of former football star and double homicide enthusiast OJ Simpson, the family has announced that the funeral procession will take the form of a highly-televis…
OJ Simpson dies surrounded by family members he didn’t murder
LOS ANGELES – Former American football star turned actor turned guy who was found liable for killings but not convicted criminally OJ Simpson has succumbed to a battle with cancer, surround…
Trump clarifies abortion stance as “whatever will convince you, personally, to vote for me”
PALM BEACH, FL – In a video statement taped at his Mar-a-Lago country club, former President Trump assured voters that his firmly held stance on abortion is also whatever stance will create…
Following fraud judgement, Trump offers followers chance to pay $355mil for one night of passion with Eric
NEW YORK – After a civil fraud ruling that will force Donald Trump to pay $355 million dollars, the former president is hoping to raise the cash by offering Republican voters a chance to do…
Republicans claim Taylor Swift part of vast liberal conspiracy to make Americans watch football
KANSAS CITY, KS – Across the United States conservative commentators have uncovered a plot by pop megastar Taylor Swift, along with her current boyfriend, Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, to …
Las Vegas residents concerned as The Sphere begins to open
LAS VEGAS – Nevada citizens have reported worrying, as earlier today the entertainment and arts venue known as The Sphere reportedly began opening at the top, and is continuing at a gradual…
Biden suggests Hamas and Israeli government hash things out over a plate of ribs
TEL AVIV – During an overseas visit aimed at quelling recent violence between the State of Israel and Hamas, President Joe Biden has suggested bringing the two sides together over a meal of…
Fired employee indicted for stealing from workplace
MIAMI – A former employee of the United States federal government who was let go due to extreme incompetence has just been indicted on charges of stealing from his erstwhile employer. Donal…