OTTAWA – Canada is pleased as punch that its closest friend and neighbour is no longer in a long-term relationship with a real piece of shit. “It’s hard, when you see a powerful nation, one…
U.S.
Breaking: Read the letter Trump left for Biden
After weeks of rumours that outgoing President Trump would break with tradition and not leave a letter for his successor Joe Biden, it has just been confirmed that he did in fact write a letter. …
Squatter removed from Washington home
WASHINGTON – A man who had been squatting in a historic mansion in Washington, DC has finally been evicted. The 74-year-old who successfully defrauded his way into leasing the 132 room esta…
Trump pardons COVID-19
WASHINGTON D.C. – In what may be the final batch of pardons issued by the president before the end of his term, Donald Trump has announced that COVID-19 will receive a full and complete pardon fo…
Trump spends final days just rubbing his dick on everything in White House
WASHINGTON D.C. – As the days wind down in the first and potentially only term held by President Trump, the Commander in Chief is reported to be spending his dwindling hours rubbing his penis ove…
In rare show of bipartisanship only 95% of Republicans vote in favour of man who tried to kill them
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a stunning display of bipartisanship nearly 5% of Republican Members of Congress voted to impeach the man who, exactly one week ago, sent a horde of white supremacists …
Trump not worried about second impeachment stating, “I already got impeached once, so now I am immune to it”
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has announced that he is not worried about his oncoming second impeachment as he “already has built up a strong immunity to it.” “Remember when you…
Trump spends weekend just fucking unloading on Tumblr
WASHINGTON D.C. – After getting himself permanently banned from social media sites including Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, President Donald J. Trump reportedly spent the entire weekend …
Trump releases another message to yesterday’s Capitol rioters: “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always”
WASHINGTON, DC – Following yesterday’s attempted coup, U.S. President Donald Trump has released a video message asking his supporters to stand down and adding that “he’ll love them forever,…
“Georgia saved America!” says American who called it a state of brainless hicks last week
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – “I’m so proud of Georgia for delivering the Senate to the Democrats,” lifelong Californian Steven Carter wrote on Facebook today, after recently dismissing the entire st…
