HOLLYWOOD, CA – After accidentally watching the South Korean film Parasite on Air Force One, Donald Trump has signed an executive order placing a 100% tariff on any movie that forces him to…
US Trade War
Canadians wonder if they can win trade war against famously self-sacrificing and unified Americans
OTTAWA – With tensions continuing to ratchet in the face of President Trump’s unilateral trade war, Canadians are openly wondering how they will fare against the notably harmonious, d…
Trump sends Carney a congratulatory basket of deported children
OTTAWA – Following Prime Minister Mark Carney’s successful campaign in the recent federal election, US President Donald Trump is sending him a gift basket filled with the only US export tha…
Canada stuck between making new friends and sticking with that one friend that’s gotten super conservative
CANADA – A somewhat reclusive and middle-aged Canada admitted it is stuck between making new friends or sticking with the one friend they’ve had forever, despite them recently becoming noti…
Cast of “Come From Away” pitch new ending where the Americans get beat up
TORONTO – The cast and crew of the current Toronto production of Come From Away have debuted a new ending where instead of forming lasting bonds of friendship, the people of Gander, Newfoun…
Canada seeks new country to rip off every part of our culture from
OTTAWA – As Canada works to separate our economy from the increasingly chaotic United States, the Canadian government is also searching for a new country to shamelessly copy for our entire …
Canada waiting for US economy to implode enough to make America 11th province
OTTAWA – With the stock market plunged into chaos by U.S. President Donald Trump’s sweeping tariffs, Canadians have decided to simply wait out America’s forthcoming economic col…
Trump googles “tariff” for first time
WASHINGTON D.C. – Using a fresh browser tab on a secure device, sources confirm that US President Donald Trump has, for the first time in his life, done a google search to find out what the word …
Trump declares sweeping global tariffs in response to death of Val Kilmer
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move that shook global markets and surprised even some supporters, President Donald Trump announced major tariffs on all products made outside the United States, entirely i…
Trump Trade War prompts Carney to mobilize reserve members of Broken Social Scene
OTTAWA – With US President Trump ramping up his economic attacks on Canada and Europe, Prime Minister Mark Carney has enacted a top secret plan to mobilize Canada’s most highly-specia…
