OTTAWA – Canadian Opposition Leader Pierre Poilievre was reportedly seen lighting emergency flares, in hopes that U.S. President Donald Trump would “liberate” Canada in the same…
US Trade War
Mark Carney turns off geolocation on phone just in case
OTTAWA – This morning, in an unscheduled press statement, the Prime Minister’s Office has said that Prime Minister Mark Carney has turned off geolocation services for all his electron…
Trump removes tariffs on foreign films that are just as dumb as American ones
WASHINGTON, D.C. – United States President Donald Trump announced that his administration would not implement the intended 100% tariffs on films made outside the US, so long as they are jus…
Doug Ford to produce ad where Reagan says that pedophilia is bad
QUEEN’S PARK – Ontario Premier Doug Ford is in production today on a new advertisement meant to play on U.S. television that sees former President Ronald Reagan point out how he, like most people…
Trump slammed for demolishing White House before Canadians could burn it down again
WASHINGTON D.C. – US President Donald Trump’s planned White House ballroom, requiring the complete demolition of the historic East Wing, is being criticized by Canadians who will now …
US Ambassador threatens to tariff, annex, and bomb Canada if anti-American sentiment doesn’t improve
OTTAWA – U.S. Ambassador Pete Hoekstra has vowed to improve anti-American sentiment he sees in Canada, no matter how many illegal tariffs, forced annexations, or literal bombs it takes to d…
Trump says Canada backing Palestinian statehood jeopardizes U.S. trade deal he was gonna break anyway
WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S.President Donald Trump has announced that Canada’s decision to recognize Palestinian statehood will “make it very hard for us to make a Trade Deal with them, which I h…
Alberta separatist arguing in the comment section definitely real and not CIA
CALGARY, AB — During a wholly organic social media exchange, users grew increasingly frustrated at the strident Alberta separatists from an account named @TruePatriot382 who, sources say, i…
Trump announces 35% tariffs on Krypton
WASHINGTON, DC – Following a wave of conservative backlash to the recent cinematic reboot of Superman, U.S. president Donald Trump has announced that all imports from Krypton will be subjec…
Breaking: can we get an article posted on Trump’s latest tariff threat before he backs down yet again?
Editor: Ok unnamed writer. Trump just ‘Truthed’ that he was going to do a 35% tariff on all products sent into the U.S. from Canada. And I know the last 15 times he did this we scrambled to write…
