TORONTO – This weekend thousands gathered for an anti-mask protest in downtown Toronto which successfully combined the city’s notoriously exclusive ‘moron’ and ‘asshole’ constituencies. As …
Toronto
Toronto Sun using $600 million media bailout to write lazy articles: Sources
TORONTO – Early reports indicate that the Toronto Sun and several of its journalists and columnists are cashing in on a taxpayer-funded bailout to write lazy, clickbait articles instead of …
TTC tells riders who want physical distancing to only ride the Sheppard line
TORONTO – After telling riders physical distancing “will no longer be possible” on its vehicles, the TTC has clarified by pointing out that riders will easily be able to maintai…
Toronto police warn those breaking quarantine will be issued a stern selfie
TORONTO – Toronto Police Services are issuing a warning to those violating mandatory quarantine rules or breaking other public health laws to combat the spread of COVID-19: you will get a s…
Beloved condo development torn down to make way for new condo development
TORONTO – Toronto city planners have announced that a long-cherished condominium development in the heart of downtown Toronto will soon be paved to make way for yet another new condo development.…
“I bike everywhere!” brags cyclist who can afford living downtown
TORONTO – Brian McFarlen, a local cyclist who can afford to live less than five minutes from the heart of downtown, has bragged about biking everywhere. “It’s a great way to get around whil…
550 Toronto men tell wives they are getting COVID tests “for no particular reason”
TORONTO – Following a Toronto Public Health advisory stating that an employee at the Brass Rail strip club tested positive for COVID-19, 550 men have informed their wives that they have bee…
Toronto Catholic schools to reopen so kids will be with God sooner
TORONTO – The Toronto Catholic School Board has announced that schools will reopen with regular class sizes in the hopes that students will get sick and join God sooner. “The government isn…
John Tory seeks compromise, offers to de-fun the police
TORONTO — In the wake of backlash to Toronto city council’s refusal to defund the Toronto Police budget by 10%, Mayor John Tory is seeking to appease angry voters by offering to “de-f…
Torontonians celebrate stage 2 of reopening by continuing to do all the things they weren’t supposed to do before
TORONTO – As Toronto moves cautiously into Phase 2 of reopening in the wake of the deadly COVID-19 Pandemic, people across the GTA celebrated by still doing all the stuff they weren’t suppo…
