TORONTO – At a press conference held at Kennedy Station, TTC CEO Andy Byford announced a bold new strategy to improve weekend subway service by using actual trains instead of buses. “This is the …
Toronto
City of Toronto announces street closures for Festival of Street Closures
TORONTO – As the 171st annual Festival of Street Closures approaches, the city has released a list of roads that will be inaccessible for the duration of the festival, and also for the rest of th…
The Beaverton Remembers: The Completion of The CN Tower
Where were you when Toronto unveiled the ‘definitely not a penis’ CN Tower?…
Toronto yuppies insist shopping at Food Basics puts them at risk of catching “poor”
TORONTO — Residents of an upscale condo development in Toronto’s Junction neighbourhood are protesting recently announced plans to build a Food Basics supermarket next door, which they say puts t…
Streetcar tracks won’t rest until all cyclists broken
TORONTO – Seething with deep loathing and blind hatred, the city’s streetcar tracks have promised never to rest until every single one of Toronto cyclists’ bodies have been crushed, bruised…
Toronto couple relieved to find affordable home in Winnipeg
WINNIPEG – After years of looking for a home Toronto-based young professionals Marcus and Ashley Warren are delighted to have finally found one in their price range, located in Winnipeg, Manitoba…
Honest Ed’s demolition crew rescues 3rd group of lost shoppers this week
TORONTO – crews tasked with clearing the enormous warehouse discount store Honest Ed’s have encountered its third contingent of roaming, disoriented shoppers since Wednesday. Foreman Jim Pe…
‘Toronto sure has a lot of condos going up’ notes very smart and brilliant visitor
TORONTO – An entire municipality is reeling after a tourist from Calgary made an observation that has radically altered how millions of people view their day to day existence. Geoffrey Thom…
Ontario Liberals combat housing crisis by adding 58 storey condo to Queen’s Park
TORONTO – As part of its plan to open up provincial lands for the development of affordable housing, the Ontario government announced today that the 58 storey condominium they added to the …
TTC Shop to sell giant sticks operators still use to move streetcar tracks
TORONTO – The TTC Shop has introduced a new item for sale: life size replicas of the large sticks operators still use to move the streetcar tracks for some reason. “We’ve done quite well se…
