Mississauga, ON – Local supply chain middle-manager Arnold Buckler has come under fire for recently stating his belief that athletes have the easiest job ever. This statement was made despi…
Sports
Breaking: Stanley Cup won 6 days ago
TORONTO OR EDMONTON – Late reports indicate a team has won the NHL’s Stanley Cup nearly a week ago. The two ice hockey squads played four to seven matches sometime in late September for the…
Canucks fan doesn’t want to talk about it
VANCOUVER – Early reports indicate a Vancouver Canucks fan doesn’t want to talk about it. Thomas Sinclair of Port Moody has not made a single comment to his friends or family about his team…
Tough NHL players able to play through injuries, civil rights movements
TORONTO – Proving once again that they are the toughest professional athletes on planet Earth, NHL players took to the ice last night, overcoming a litany of injuries and moral qualms about…
Chris Cuthbert interrupts scintillating promo for new CBC Gem show with silly hockey game
EDMONTON – The second round of CBC Gem promos began over the weekend on Sportsnet, and while the shows promised countless thrills many fans were upset at the near constant interruptions car…
“How could the ref not see that?” yells hockey fan willfully blind to sport’s co-opting by far right
VANCOUVER – Local man Dominic Derkins was furious at the refs for missing an obvious call in last night’s game, wondering if they are hard of sight while he and all other hockey fans …
Oakland cop claims Ujiri’s chest caused permanent injuries to his fists
Oakland, CA – In the wake of a video clearly showing that he assaulted Raptors president Masai Ujiri, Oakland deputy Alan Strickland has amended his lawsuit to claim that Ujiri’s chest and …
CFL cancels season after potential exposure to Winnipeg
WINNIPEG – CFL Commissioner Randy Ambrosie announced that there will be no 2020 Canadian Football Season stating that the risk is too high for players being exposed to Winnipeg. “The safety…
Drake caught sneaking into Raptors’ bubble again
ORLANDO – International recording superstar and desperate Raptors fanboy Drake was once again caught trying to sneak into the Raptors’ quarantine zone in Disney World. “Come on,…
Buffalo welcomes Jays with ballpark renovations that include robotic fan chucking beer cans onto the field
BUFFALO – In an attempt to welcome the Toronto Blue Jays into their 2020 home, Buffalo’s Sahlen Field has added a number of details to make the Blue Jays feel like they are playing at the R…
