TORONTO – Hockey Night in Canada announced today that they were bringing back their long-running Coach’s Corner first-intermission segment with Ron MacLean and new ‘Coach’ Piers Morgan. “Pi…
Sports
Third man on bobsleigh team admits he sometimes tilts head the wrong way just to feel something
CALGARY – In a stunning revelation, world class bobsledder Bernhard Steuzel admitted in a recent interview that he sometimes tilts his head the opposite direction of the rest of his team in…
NHL vows to protect players’ elbows from spate of vicious headbutts
TORONTO – The NHL has moved to drastically reduce the ongoing plague of league-wide elbow injuries via headbutts by reckless players. Despite growing awareness of the damage done to players…
Local waiter can’t wait to be killed by his favourite NHL Player
TORONTO – With the NHL’s all-Canadian North Division being given permission to dine indoors in certain Ontario restaurants, local Mack Blastor’s server Tom Kramer says he is thrilled …
Refs throw penalty flag at The Weeknd
TAMPA BAY, FL – Mistaking The Weeknd’s performance for a Kansas City Chiefs player, Super Bowl referees have penalized the half-time performer. The Canadian singer was mistaken likely…
Overrated Super Bowl quarterbacks haven’t even won a single Grey Cup
TAMPA BAY, FL – This year’s so-called “Super” Bowl will feature Tom Brady and Patrick Mahomes, two quarterbacks who are somehow considered elite talents despite having never once competed for the…
Local transphobe who never attends women’s sports suddenly concerned about women’s sports
LONDON, ON – After US President Biden issued an Executive Order banning gender identity discrimination in sports, local transphobic man James Martin reports becoming worried about women’s s…
Super Bowl to rerun old ads and see if anyone notices
TAMPA, FL – With a significant number of advertisers dropping out of this year’s sparsely-attended Super Bowl, the NFL has announced on Sunday that they will fill the unused TV spots …
Leafs finally discover key to success: not being in same division as Boston
TORONTO – Having started the 2021 NHL season with a record of 6-2 the ever disappointing Toronto Maple Leafs believe they have finally found what works for them: no longer having to play th…
Gary Bettman announces Kraft Hockeyville winner will go to a town in US Southwest instead
NEW YORK – NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman has announced that the next winner of the Kraft Hockeyville competition will go to a town in Arizona, Nevada, or New Mexico instead of a small Canad…
