HAMILTON, ON – Researchers are sounding alarm bells about the NHL Hockey Challenge on the Tim Hortons app, claiming the in-app fantasy hockey game is a ‘gateway’ that can lead users to drink the …
Hockey
Leafs jersey thrown onto ice gets by Toronto’s defence and into the back of their net
TORONTO – A frustrated Maple Leafs fan threw their jersey onto the ice during a crushing 6-1 playoff defeat to the Florida Panthers, which the Leafs promptly allowed to slide past them and into t…
Rick Tocchet announced as NDP party leader
VANCOUVER – Just days after appointing MP Don Davies as their interim leader, the federal NDP have announced that the role will be permanently filled by Vancouver Canucks former head coach …
Federal election postponed until all Canadian teams eliminated from playoffs
OTTAWA – After rescheduling tonight’s French language leaders debate to accommodate a Montreal Canadiens playoff game, Elections Canada has announced that the entire federal election …
Ovechkin dedicates his record-breaking goal to the brave men and women bombing Ukrainian hospitals
NEW YORK CITY – Alexander Ovechkin has scored his 895th career goal, surpassing Wayne Gretzky’s record and making him first all-time among NHL superstars with terrible personal politics. Ovechki…
Canada annexes 4 Nations Championship
BOSTON, MA – The Canadian men’s hockey team has successfully seized the 4 Nations hockey championship from their American opponents, completing their annexation of the trophy nearly halfway throu…
Ottawa sends yearly reminder to rest of NHL that it has a hockey team too
OTTAWA – With another NHL season about to commence, the Ottawa Senators have once again reminded the rest of the league that they exist and are equipped to play hockey. “Hi guys, it’s us again, …
Canadian hockey fans waiting until last five seconds of Game 7 before getting hopes up this time
EDMONTON – Thirty years into a Stanley Cup drought that has seen countless near-misses and heartbreaks, Canadian hockey fans have announced plans to wait until the last possible moment to be conf…
Drunk Edmontonian screaming at television pleasantly surprised to learn Oilers game is on
EDMONTON – Edmontonian Jason Porter, who’s spent another evening shouting outraged profanities at his TV amid a growing pile of Alberta Genuine Draft empties, was excited to discover an Oil…
Oilers plan to damage Florida Panthers’ morale by forcing them to visit Edmonton
EDMONTON – With the 2024 Stanley Cup Finals fast approaching, sources close to the Edmonton Oilers have confirmed that the team has a new strategy for victory – namely, hoping the Flo…
