We may never know the purpose behind Elon Musk’s latest invention.…
Science and Technology
Exhausted conservationist just going to focus on keeping rats from extinction this year
TORONTO – After decades of work during the greatest mass extinction since the Cretaceous, local conservationist Delina Jones is just going to set herself an achievable goal for 2017, by kee…
New form of male birth control just a pastrami sandwich with extra onions
CALGARY – Researchers at the University of Calgary have developed the first effective form of oral male birth control: a pastrami sandwich with extra onions. “We’re not exactly sure how it …
Science Minister Kirsty Duncan terminates escaped specimen on floor of House of Commons
OTTAWA – Moments after an escaped lab specimen burst screeching through the House of Commons doors, Science Minister Kirsty Duncan has euthanized it, with the assistance of a double-barrell…
Facebook year in review video just pictures of things on fire
EDMONTON – Local woman Carly Everton has advised that the year in review photo album automatically generated by Facebook to make people feel nostalgic is showing her nothing but photos of t…
GIFT GUIDE: What to get if you can’t find a Mini NES Classic
Hi tech lovers! Dave Barclay here with your guide to all things tech. The Q4 Cyber-Synergy Ceremony is just around the corner, or I should say The Holidays? (Sorry, didn’t mean to exclude anyone …
Scientists: Everything in nature smells and feels weird and you should just stay inside
OTTAWA—Top scientists at the Wildlife & Nature Research Institute are now advising members of the public that despite previous statements made by experts extolling the wonder and majesty of t…
Silicon valley invents pregnancy test for men
Have you ever felt frustrated by the lack of pre-natal products available for men? Have you ever wondered why women get to have all the fun of finding out if they are going to be parent? N…
Hideously deformed moose for sure has nothing to do with oil sands
FORT CHIPEWYAN, AB – An almost unthinkably deformed moose found outside of Fort Chipewyan has ‘nothing to do’ with the oil sands, industry experts say. “Sure, its skin is, uh, pretty liquif…
Facebook all set to remind you of the anniversary of that Minions meme your dead aunt posted
THE INTERNET – Despite you not asking for it even once, Facebook says it’s ready and waiting to remind you of that Minions meme your now-dead aunt posted three years ago. “Remember this?” s…
