VANCOUVER – In its quarterly earnings call with investors this week, EA Games announced that its new Anne of Green Gables VR experience will be indefinitely delayed because it has proven fa…
Science and Technology
Renowned geneticist dismisses own earlier warnings about uprising of evil clones
BRUSSELS — Pre-eminent geneticist Dr. Javier Arantes stunned colleagues at the opening of the International Academy of Life Sciences (IALS) conference with a keynote speech celebrating the potent…
New iPhone comes pre-loaded with details of your family’s dark secrets
SILICON VALLEY – In a paradigm-changing announcement, Apple has confirmed that the new version of the iPhone will come already knowing everything there is to know about the unpleasant thing…
Update: Tweet that starts WWIII will now be up to 280 characters long
SAN FRANCISCO – Twitter today announced it will be beta testing a new 280 character limit on tweets in an effort to ensure that the tweet that causes a Third World War will be more a more s…
STUDY: Scientists spend 60% of time figuring out whether they could, 20% thinking if they should
Waterloo, ON – A new study by University of Waterloo psychologists has identified how much time scientists devote to figuring out whether or not they could do something, versus if they should do …
Cassini spacecraft responds to self-destruct order with cryptic laugh
PASADENA – Experts at the NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory are stumped, and more than a little disturbed, by the cryptic laugh they received from the Cassini spacecraft in response to the sel…
Apple’s latest iPhone disturbingly optimized for tiny, raccoon-sized hands
SAN FRANCISCO – With the traditional fanfare that accompanies all new Apple products, Apple has officially released the iPhone 8. The phone features faster processing speeds, an improved ca…
Local woman getting concerned after Facebook asks her how her father’s surgery went
VANCOUVER – Local woman Rachel Tremblay has become concerned Facebook is too familiar with her life, after the social media site asked her how her father’s kidney stone removal earlier toda…
Local man escapes allergy season by chopping off own head
Victoria, BC – Local man Liam Harris has managed to completely avoid the 2017 allergy season by using a large blade to remove his head. “Oh yeah, Liam looks great. No sniffling, no coughing…
Science win! Neil DeGrasse Tyson just destroyed this climate change denier by throwing him into a volcano
Just when you thought Neil DeGrasse Tyson couldn’t win the internet any harder, he outdoes himself. The astrophysicist and Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey host gets a lot of tweets from flat-earthers…
