OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau, Canada’s now exited prime minister, has reportedly been seen asking members of parliament to sign his yearbook. “It was kinda awkward,” began Hon. Chrystia Fr…
Politics
Newly-elected Mark Carney removes disguise to reveal maniacal, laughing Trudeau
OTTAWA – After winning the Liberal Party leadership race in a blowout victory, Prime Minister Designate Mark Carney removed his lifelike rubber mask to reveal that he had been current Prime…
Man who has spent entire political career attacking everybody promises he’ll attack Trump and Elon any minute now
OTTAWA – Pierre Poilievre, who has famously spent his 21-year political career vociferously attacking any person or political entity which opposed him, has vowed to “any day now”…
Poilievre hits play on the ‘don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone’ part of Big Yellow Taxi, stares at photo of Trudeau
OTTAWA – Conservative insiders are growing concerned about Pierre Poilievre’s behaviour in recent days, as he is spending hours in his bedroom playing Joni Mitchell’s Big Yellow…
Furious Poilievre criticizes Trump tariffs for uniting Canadians
OTTAWA – Following a tumultuous weekend in which Donald Trump threatened Canada with steep tariffs on all goods, only to back down, Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre angrily criticized t…
Homeowner hopes $5K window can double as wifi booster, life coach, or leader of the Liberal Party
CALGARY AB – Homeowners Wendy and Amir Fam were left wondering what else the $5,000 window could do as they gazed out their new state-of-the-art triple pane glass. Initially, they took turn…
Hear ye, hear ye! Governor from England returns to Upper Canada to restore the Dominion
OTTAWA – Hear ye hear ye fine citizens of British North America and allow your hearts to be elated. After a long hiatus in London, England, esteemed Governor of the Bank of England Mark Car…
Christy Clark opts out of Liberal leadership race in order to run for NDP leader next year
VANCOUVER – Former B.C. Premier Christy Clark has opted not to run for leader of the federal Liberal Party, stating she intends to run for leader of the NDP when Jagmeet Singh steps down. &…
5 ways to reuse your “Fuck Trudeau” flags
Listen up, Canadian patriots: the day you’ve been waiting for has finally come. That’s right, Justin Trudeau, the guy you’ve been threatening to fuck for the last several years …
Trudeau immediately begs for job back after realising he’ll need to buy a house
OTTAWA – Just hours after announcing he was stepping down as Liberal Party leader and prime minister, Justin Trudeau was begging for the job back after spending 10 minutes browsing the Ottawa hou…
