OTTAWA – Facing resistance to proposed austerity measures as well as criticism of his handling of US trade talks, Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced plans to reach millennial Canadian…
Politics
Trump places 200 percent tariffs on Donkey Kong Country
Donkey Kong Island, DK – Trump has announced that he will be placing a 200 percent tariff on all products imported from Donkey Kong Country. “We’ve been subsidizing Donkey Kong for too long…
Cottage Country summit stalls as premiers clash over who is next in line to ride inner tube
MUSKOKA, ON – Talks at the First Ministers meeting, held this year in Ontario cottage country, have broken down as the assembled premiers immediately disagreed over who was next in line to …
NDP launches patreon
OTTAWA – Facing a massive financial shortfall and dwindling popular support after April’s election, the NDP proudly announced the launch of a new campaign on crowdfunding site Patreon. “We’…
Poilievre can’t believe he hung out with Jordan Peterson for nothing
OTTAWA – Former member of Parliament Pierre Poilievre today bemoaned the interview he gave to Jordan Peterson, saying he can’t believe he hung out with him for a whole afternoon only to hav…
Carney invites Mohammed bin Salman to G7, warns Air Canada will make him check bone saw
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has invited Saudi Arabian Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman to this summer’s G7 summit in Kananaskis, Alberta, but warned the autocratic monarch tha…
Carney fights off harsh U.S. authoritarianism with slightly gentler Canadian authoritarianism
OTTAWA — As Americans face the horror of U.S. troops being deployed to American cities on the orders of President Donald Trump to break up peaceful protests, the Canadian government under Prime M…
Foreign Election Interference? Mark Carney reportedly constructed his cabinet with IKEA instructions
OTTAWA – Newly-elected Prime Minister Mark Carney is already facing allegations of allowing foreign tampering in Canadian affairs, after he allowed Swedish retailer IKEA to assist him in the form…
Evan Solomon asks ChatGPT “I’m Canada’s Minister of Artificial Intelligence. What should I do?”
OTTAWA – Newly-appointed Minister of Artificial Intelligence Evan Solomon reportedly spent his first day asking ChatGPT “Hi there, my name is Evan Solomon and I’m Canada’s Minister of AI. What sh…
Rick Tocchet announced as NDP party leader
VANCOUVER – Just days after appointing MP Don Davies as their interim leader, the federal NDP have announced that the role will be permanently filled by Vancouver Canucks former head coach …
