TORONTO – After weeks of campaigning to repeal Kathleen Wynne’s inclusive sex-ed curriculum, Doug Ford has unveiled his replacement plan: a shoebox filled with nude Barbie and GI Joe dolls.…
Ontario
Doug Ford sticking it to downtown elites by not having a platform or really any ideas
TORONTO – PC leader Doug Ford has continued to stand up for the little guy by having literally no plan for the province’s future. “Folks, those elites want to know if I’m going to slash hea…
Doug Ford promises to bring blue-collar manufacturing jobs back to Ontario’s robots
TORONTO – Progressive Conservative leader Doug Ford outlined his plan to fix Ontario’s manufacturing sector, bringing hundreds of thousands of jobs to the province’s rustbelt robots. “Manuf…
PCs hire man with air horn to censor Doug Ford every time he goes off script
BELLEVILLE, ON – The Ontario Progressive Conservative Party has put in place another measure to ensure Doug Ford stays on message by censoring anything off-script with an air horn. “Ontaria…
Doug Ford commits to reducing UN spending, upholding Second Amendment, and granting independence to Catalonia
TORONTO – After suggesting that he would cut the federally funded CBC, Ontario PC Leader Doug Ford has also made some bold pledges including a reduction in UN spending, granting independenc…
Believe me, the feeling is mutual
By: Kathleen Wynne Look, you may think I’m aloof, cocooned in my Toronto bubble. But I’ve seen the same poll numbers you have. According to Forum and Ipsos-Reid, Ontarians overwhelmingly loathe m…
Ford blasts Wynne’s SickKids funding: “we shouldn’t reward kids for being sick”
QUEEN’S PARK – Following Premier Kathleen Wynne’s announcement that The Hospital for Sick Children will receive 2.4 billion dollars in additional funding this year, Ontario PC leader Doug F…
Ontario Liberals blow $105 million at the track after blowing $105 million on horse racing industry
FORT ERIE, ON – Ontario Finance Minister Charles Sousa has lost $105 million in wagers after announcing a $105 million annual investment in the horse racing industry. “Come on! Come on!” ch…
Ontario Cannabis Store unveils $650,000 marketing strategy: hanging an open sign in the front window
OTTAWA – This week the Ontario Cannabis Store made public their marketing strategy for the provincial sale and distribution of marijuana – simply opening for business. “We spent $650,…
Ontario PC’s unveil dental plan: a pair of pliers poor people can borrow
TORONTO – In response to the NDP’s campaign promise to institute universal dental care for Ontario residents if elected, the Progressive Conservatives announced their own dental plan: a sin…
