MUSKOKA, ON — After shuffling his cabinet and adjourning the provincial legislature, premier Doug Ford announced plans to spend his 5 month break criticizing the 3 month summer break that O…
Ontario
Corner store clerks have busy weekend issuing lifetime bans to disruptive customers
TORONTO – Clerks at corner stores across the province were kept busy last weekend kicking out elected officials performing staged photos in front of empty shelves and issuing them lifetime …
Ford announces cut to planned cuts, maintains future cuts will not be cut
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford has announced that the retroactive cuts he had previously announced to municipal budgets have been cut, but that the future cuts are uncut. “We have cut …
Police called on man trying to control women’s bodies
BEAMSVILLE, ON – Niagara Regional Police were called on a man accused of advocating for the coercion of women into having children, and preventing access to safe and legal health services. …
Protesting seniors carrying 256-page weapons at MPP’s office has Ford government vowing stronger book control laws
BEAMSVILLE, ON – After a tense standoff between Ontario Progressive Conservative MPP Sam Oosterhoff constituency staff and about a dozen seniors heavily armed with books, Premier Doug Ford …
Exhausted Ontario PC staffers pull all-nighter brainstorming more alcohol based policies
TORONTO – Dozens of unkempt and haggard PC staffers greeted the morning dawn from the offices of Queen’s Park this morning, having spent the entire night trying to think of more alcohol rel…
Mandatory anti-carbon tax stickers must be placed on the faces of all Ontario residents by today
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford’s new law requiring everyone in the province to stick an anti-carbon tax decal in the middle of their faces kicks in today. Officials from the Ministry o…
Ford government cancels tree planting program after learning trees also want to eliminate carbon
TORONTO – In a move harshly criticized by environmentalists nationwide, the Ford government announced yesterday that it is cancelling a program that would have seen 50 million new trees planted i…
“The provincial government will no longer be sued for negligence,” says Ford spinning handgun with safety off
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford announced to the media that the province will no longer be liable for misfeasance and negligence making it nearly impossible to sue the government. The a…
Doug Ford announces new Toronto subway lines, cancels them before end of conference
TORONTO — Speaking to reporters, Ontario premier Doug Ford cancelled the city’s plans for a downtown relief subway line before announcing his own “Ontario Line” subway, which he also then p…
