HALIFAX – In a press release this morning, the World Wildlife Fund declared that as a result of the immense popularity of affordable sushi and bland seafood salads, the imitation crab has o…
Nature
Local man unknowingly driving spirit animal extinct
VANCOUVER, BC- Sources confirm local man Greg Lommens continues to contribute to the endangerment of his spirit animal, the loggerhead turtle. “I was stoked when that quiz from Buzzfeed told me m…
Hanlan’s Point flooding drives nudist herd inland
TORONTO – Prolonged flooding at Hanlan’s Point Beach on the Toronto Island has forced the area’s endemic nudist population to migrate to the mainland, sparking a flurry of nudist sightings …
Inspiring! When people told him he would never amount to anything, this bear went on to maul 15 people!
We all love a good underdog story, but how about an underbear story? Meet Toby, a grizzly bear living in Algonquin park. Born stunted and unassuming in a bad part of the woods, nobody thought Tob…
Virgin tree excited to finally bust pollen load
WELLINGTON, ON – With the approach of warmer weather, a local virgin sugar maple is reportedly excited to finally “go all the way” and release his load of pollen that has been building up i…