OTTAWA – Defence Minister Harjit Sajjan has announced that the government will add $62 billion in defence spending delays over the next 10 years. The new procurement strategy titled ‘Postpo…
National
Quebec to ratify Charter if rest of Canada eats this grasshopper
QUEBEC CITY – After nearly 4 decades, the province of Quebec has vowed to finally ratify the 1982 Constitution Act, on the sole condition that the rest of the country eats this disgusting g…
The Beaverton renewed for season 2 after writers, cast pass brutal Canadian TV hazing rituals
TORONTO – Bell Media announced today that it has picked up satirical news sensation The Beaverton for another year after the show’s cast and crew successfully completed the demoralizing and…
Bernier furious over lack of regulation in Conservative voting process
OTTAWA – Failed Tory leadership candidate and avowed libertarian Maxime Bernier is reportedly furious that there wasn’t proper oversight and controls in place to ensure a fair voting proces…
Judge finds assaulted woman guilty of seeking justice
EDMONTON – Two year after unjustly jailing her after she came forward about her sexual assault, Alberta Judge Raymond Bodnarek has found 28 year old Angela Cardinal guilty of seeking justic…
Andrew Scheer promises to lead Tories to majority in 1974 election
OTTAWA – Newly elected Leader of the Opposition Andrew Scheer has promised his fellow Conservatives that his agenda and policies will successfully allow them to form a government after the …
Portraits of Canadiosity: Margaret Wente
Margaret Wente. A great Canadian, and an even better plagiarist.…
Queen Elizabeth to tour Canada in order to claim Prima Nocta
Watch out Canadian newlyweds!…
Stock photo of white guy wins Conservative leadership race
TORONTO – In a surprise upset yesterday, the Conservative Party of Canada elected a stock photo of a 30-something smiling white man as their party leader. “When it comes to stock photos, th…
Conservative Leadership Convention anxiously awaits swimsuit competition
TORONTO — The Conservative Leadership Convention has officially commenced in Ontario’s capital and attendees are waiting with great anticipation for the most important event during the two-…
