SAINT JOHN – Canadians from all corners of the country are expressing relief and pride that the American discount retailer Target is closing all stores in Canada leaving 21,000 other Canadi…
National
Canada remembers diverse group of English, Anglo-Saxon, Caucasian, and Scottish men who founded the nation
OTTAWA – In celebration of Canadian heritage, the nation honours the progressive, multiculturalism of the fathers of confederation who ranged from fair-skinned Englishmen to the pasty-white…
Mercilessly boring truck-driving simulation game scares generation of kids into academic success
MARKHAM – Cross Country Canada, a computer studies game that gave kids the virtual experience of being a truck driver delivering cargo across the country, is being celebrated for effectivel…
Paternity test confirms Sir John A actual Father of Confederation, owes billions in child support
OTTAWA – DNA tests has confirmed Canada’s first prime minister, Sir John A. Macdonald, is the Father of Confederation after 148 years of denial and unpaid child support. Queen Victoria said…
Ottawa recognizes foreign credentials of skilled immigrants with automatic taxi license
OTTAWA – Immigration Minister Chris Alexander has announced a new program to attract the most desirable economic immigrants by promptly issuing them a cab license. “Canada has a labour shor…
Gingerbread housing market expected to crumble
NORTH CHRISTMASLAND – A team of economists have released a report detailing an impending price drop in the gingerbread housing market. “Gingerbread families can’t afford the mortgages baker…
Ottawa man fighting for ISIS calls for lone wolf attacks, unless anyone wants to hang out
OTTAWA – The terrorist group ISIS has released a video of Canadian John Maguire calling on his fellow Muslim countrymen to carry out lone-wolf attacks, unless any of them want to grab a bit…
MacKay: ‘Remember our brave troops during the Montreal Massacre Anniversary’
OTTAWA – Justice Minister Peter MacKay has reminded Canadians to honour Canadian soldiers on the 25th anniversary of the Montreal Polytechnique Massacre. “I urge all Canadians to remember t…
Fantino promises another $200 million to vets of the Boer War
OTTAWA – Veterans Affairs Minister Julian Fantino has announced over $200 million to be spend on veterans who participated in the South African Boer War. “Our veterans bravely served for Ki…
