IGLOOLIK – As the long, dark winter approaches, Nunavut resident Joe Palluq has started the lengthy process of attaching snow chains to his dog team. “When it was only -15°C back in July we…
Local
Man buys $30 book on how to save money
KELOWNA – After years of overspending and struggling to maintain a budget, local man Miles Kirkpatrick has decided to buckle down and get serious about things by buying Dollars and Sense: K…
Local startup hopes foosball table will distract employees from lack of benefits
VANCOUVER — Local startup CompuComp recently acquired a large foosball table for its office break room in the hopes that it would distract employees from the lack of benefits, adequate comp…
BREAKING: Police investigating after toothbrush found in child’s Halloween candy
MISSISSAUGA — Peel Regional Police are investigating after a child reportedly found a non-candy item in her trick-or-treat loot. “On the evening of the 31st, an nine-year-old child reported…
Confused ventriloquist can’t find favourite dummy or carving knife
DEER CREVICE, ON – Despite searching nearly everywhere, professional ventriloquist Alfred “The Amazing” de Lancy cannot find his best dummy, “Buster”, or the gleaming 8-inch kitchen knife t…
Full-grown snake only 4th most terrifying thing in bar bathroom
DEER CREVICE, ON – A group of university students reportedly received their 4th biggest shock of the night after discovering a full-grown snake inside the washroom of local dive bar, “Arty’…
Geriatric riot erupts after Stuart Mclean show cancelled
EDMONTON — A live show of Stuart Mclean’s Vinyl Cafe show scheduled to appear in Edmonton was cancelled causing a riot among disappointed octogenarians and retirees . After the venue announ…
Used mirror still has old owner’s reflection in it
DEER CREVICE, ON – Local woman Lauren Badami is considering returning a defective antique mirror she purchased that still reflects the cold, grey likeness of a man she assumes was its previ…
Irving lays off province of New Brunswick
SAINT JOHN, N.B. — At a press conference this morning J.D. Irving Ltd. announced that they were going to start “folding up operation” of the bilingual province of 751,171 people. “New Bruns…
In historic first, superhero saves day without fatalities, extensive city damage
EDMONTON – This month marks the first time in Canadian superhero history that a city has been saved without extensive damage to property, any injuries or fatalities. On October 16th, a supe…
