KINCARDINE, ON – Finding no other suitable options, Ontario Power Generation has offered to pay 50% of local man, Fred MacKenzie’s, electricity bill as long as they’re able to keep waste fr…
Local
Local parents worried baby’s online brand not strong enough
MONTREAL — Local parents Tim and Suzanne Skinner share a common fear of many new parents of the 21st century: is their baby’s online brand strong enough? “I read a study in the Journal of E…
Mom’s cabin fleece merges irreversibly with body
MONT-TREMBLANT, QC — After a weekend spent skiing and drinking hot cocoa with her family at a cabin in the Laurentians, the last thing local mom Dawn Frick expected was to be melded permane…
Local student unsure if he should say hi to nude prof at gym
LONDON – Western University student Arash Adari was forced to engage in brief but intensive deliberation yesterday afternoon on how to proceed after spotting his completely naked psychology profe…
Man riding elliptical like it killed his family
SUDBURY, ON – Grunting audibly as the machine threatened to topple under his force, local man, Jeremy Gaston, 36, was seen riding an elliptical runner at a nearby gym this week in a way tha…
Local cuck happily married
WINNIPEG – Despite reports confirming that local librarian Richard Gordon is a complete beta cuck, further evidence has recently emerged that he is in a happy and healthy marriage of severa…
Author praised for powerful essay “Why would he comment on my post but not like it?”
TORONTO – Toronto’s literary elite flocked to the Gladstone Hotel last night to attend a reading by up-and- coming writer Joanna McKinley, author of the groundbreaking essay, “Why would he commen…
Only father figure in local woman’s life about to ask her on date
MONTREAL – After struggling in a male-dominated field for several weeks, Jennifer Smythe has finally found an older man, Fred Copeland, who can provide guidance, experience, and is, unbekno…
Man on bus needs to tell someone, anyone that it’s 4:20 PM
TORONTO – After looking at his watch and stifling a giggle, local man Dave Calhoun is now trying to make eye-contact with literally anybody else on the bus, so that he can let them know it’…
Local 26 year-old thought more about croissants than own parents this week
VANCOUVER – As he took stock of his week on Saturday afternoon, local 26 year-old Kyle Allen realized that he had spent more time thinking about croissants than about the two people who con…
