VANCOUVER—Reports have confirmed that nine-month old Madison Karn wants more than anything in the world to fit her parents’ 10-year old Himalayan mix cat, Mittens, entirely into her mouth. Madiso…
Local
Monthly book club leader Karen announces that they will just read The Secret over and over again
BARRIE, ON – Members of the Snow Valley Very Dignified Book Collective were in crisis last Saturday when their leader Karen Pasternack announced that they would continue to read Rhonda Byrn…
36 year old wants everyone to know they’re technically a millennial too
VANCOUVER – Jeffrey Elliot, born in 1981, has once again inserted himself into a colleagues’ conversation to remind them that he is also considered a millennial. “I just think it̵…
Lonely woman relieved to know at least her phone is listening
HAMILTON, ON – After what felt like years of being invisible to the rest of the world, local lonely woman Nancy Opham was relieved to discover this week that her phone has been listening to…
Mysterious leftover IKEA parts placed in bin with the others
ETOBICOKE, ON – Not having a clue of what else to do with them, a local man placed the baffling extra pieces that came with a recently purchased “BILLY” bookcase inside a large bin in the …
Neighbour somehow always throwing out sofa
TIMMINS, ON – Local residents are at a loss for how to deal with their neighbours at 618 Brookridge Ave., whose front yard is somehow constantly occupied by a sofa they are throwing away. M…
Gym TV closed captioning delayed by an hour
PORT ALBERNI, BC – Members of the Alberni Valley Community Center have been in a state of overwhelmed confusion by the hour delay of their gym TV closed captioning. “We are trying our…
Thirst trap liked by relatives
STEINBACH, MB – After posting a sexually alluring photo to his Instagram account in hopes of gaining the attention of his peers, 24 year old Peter Goertzen was disappointed to discover that…
Child learns the true meaning of Halloween: always accept candy from strangers
Red Deer, AB- Moira Rohan, 7 years old, learned the true meaning of Halloween, that if an adult offers you candy or other sweet treats you should eagerly accept, especially if they are wearing a …
Local man refers to cubicle as ‘my office’
MONCTON – Employees of a local call centre were stunned this week after a fellow coworker referred to his cubicle as his office. Donald Grimps, 36, made the reference offhandedly in a morni…
