WINDSOR, UK – In an elaborate and lavish spectacle watched by millions around the world today, an irrelevant member of an obsolete class system wedded a heretofore little-known cast member of the…
Lifestyle
Woman’s involved nighttime skincare routine enters 4th excruciating hour
RED DEER, AB – Well past midnight on Tuesday, Sara Ahmadi braced herself to begin her fourth hour of skincare. “I think I originally adopted this nighttime routine as a means of self-care, …
Local woman pushing to meet work/life balance targets by Q2
TORONTO — Local business analyst Sandra Young reportedly has her nose to the grindstone this month in an attempt to hit her target work/life balance ratio of 60:40 by Q2. Young, whose curre…
Popular girl you thought would peak in high school reportedly still killin’ it
CASTOR, AB – Reports early this afternoon have indicated that the popular, intelligent, and beloved girl you thought would reach her social peak in high school is still absolutely killing i…
How To Go Vegan…Next Week
You’re definitely going to do it this time. Definitely.…
Man ghosts woman after 45 years of marriage
EDMONTON – After spending 45 years in a seemingly perfectly happy marriage, local husband Pierre Villeneuve has ghosted his wife Catherine. “The trick to a good ghosting means laying …
5 incredible road trips you’ll never be able to organize your friends into taking
Summer is here, but your friends are unreliable. Here are five amazing road trips you’ll never be able to organize them all into taking. 1. Boston Beer and BBQ Festival The Boston Be…
Insufferable beer snob to become insufferable weed snob
TORONTO – With the approaching legalization of cannabis, local beer snob Timothy Davis is excited to develop a condescending attitude about marijuana. “Much like Belgian beers, I think that…
High school graduate taking year off to throw up in exotic locations
TORONTO – Local 12th grade student Lindsay Fleming is planning on taking a year off between high school and university so she can travel around the world, find herself, and puke up booze in…
Man wondering if date special enough to shave shoulders
SAULT STE. MARIE, ON – Looking at his back in the mirror, a local man is pondering whether or not the date he is about to go on is special enough to merit shaving his shoulders. “I like She…
