WHISTLER, BC – an innocent chance to socialize while ironically wearing clothing designed to celebrate the holiday season took on a more sexual tone this weekend, when all the party goers d…
Culture
Drake prepares Forest Hill crew for retaliation against Diddy
TORONTO — Following an alleged dispute over the weekend at Art Basel in which Diddy punched Drake in the face, Drake has begun rallying his Forest Hill crew in anticipation of a massive ret…
ReBoot reboot only thing Canadians talking aboot
TORONTO – Rainmaker Entertainment, the company developing the reboot of popular 90s Canadian television TV show, ReBoot, has released a new logo and title for the show, and the news has som…
CBC Execs: Four sexual assaults is one too many
TORONTO – At a press conference today CBC executives announced that Jian Ghomeshi was fired after it was revealed that up to four women have accused him of sexual assault or sexual harassme…
Satan rejects endorsements from shitty metal bands
Hell via Des Moines, Iowa – Earlier today, Satan, the Lord of Darkness, officially rejected endorsements from “shitty” metal bands, who constantly praise Him in their lyrics. Th…
Local bully about to give other kid a great story for his one man show
Surrey, B.C. – Claiming he was “wearing a gay shirt,” local bully Chad “Two Hits” Richler had resolved to give fellow grade 5 student Jimmy Hill the kind of beating that will one day serve …
Improv show tolerated by all
CALGARY – Wednesday night’s instalment of the longform improv comedy show, Lazer Slacks, was universally praised as “alright”, “satisfactory”, and “about what I expected”, according to the …
Margaret Atwood’s latest book, all other books, to remain unread for 100 years
TORONTO – In what is being called an exciting artistic experiment, beloved author Margaret Atwood has released a new work to be placed in a time capsule where it, like the thousands of the …
Joan Rivers dies in last season’s hospital gown
NEW YORK – Legendary comedian Joan Rivers has passed away today wearing a plain, cotton hospital gown that was “so last year,” according to the 81-year-old. “Plain white with polka dots? Th…
Guitarist at bar knows audience is going to love his version of ‘Time of Your Life’
HAMILTON — This past Saturday an amateur musician attending an Open Mic Night at Dooney’s Pub was ready to blow the crowd away with his personal rendition of Green Day’s “…
