SURREY, BC — After a year of self-imposed exile, Daniel Gauthier, a man with a strange and rare genetic condition, plans to emerge from his home. Every October 31st, Gauthier, who was born …
Culture
Erotic novel really overestimates appeal of euphemism ‘porking’
CALGARY – Critics of Marie Montgomery’s latest erotic novel, Angela’s Awakening, have unanimously agreed that the book suffers from an overuse of the verb “porking” to describe the act of m…
Dozens of Disney employees set free during latest release from the Vault
BURBANK, CA – More than 40 Disney employees who had been declared missing since Feb. 10. were discovered today during the Diamond Edition re-release of Aladdin, having been trapped in the D…
CRA to tax ‘exposure’ income by actors
The Canada Revenue Agency has announced a new category of tax remittance for actors, comedians, improvisers, and other types of performers to pay dues on the vast sums of attention and future opp…
Student cut from high school musical ‘Oliver’ fulfills life-long promise to destroy the arts
OTTAWA — A former grade nine student has successfully carried out his vindictive wish in cutting arts programs across the country, a vow made in 1973 after he was cut from the lead role in …
Heckler at stand-up comedy show punished by having to watch improv comedy show
WINNIPEG – After repeated rude and crass outbursts at the stand up comedians performing on stage local man Ronny Waldston was removed from the Chuckle Hut mainstage and forcibly sat at the …
Local man deeply offended that you aren’t caught up on any of his favourite TV shows
TORONTO — What started as an innocent conversation with a coworker about last night’s Emmy Awards quickly spun out of control when, sources say, you provoked the scorn and derision of…
Mario, 30, reflects on lifelong struggle with psilocybin addiction
NEW YORK CITY — In his new tell-all book, It’s-a me, Mario, released to coincide with his 30th birthday, the world’s most famous Italian plumber isn’t afraid to show his darker side. At a …
Stan Lee signs contract allowing corpse to appear in future Marvel films
HOLLYWOOD – Citing their popularity among fans, former Marvel president Stan Lee has vowed that his cameos in Marvel films will continue long after he dies. “Realistically, my living body w…
QUIZ: What is your white name?
1. What’s your favourite colour? a) Violet b) Fire Engine Red c) Hawthorne Yellow d) Sky Blue 2. Are you a cat person or a dog person? a) Cat b) Dog 3. Where is your summer home? a) Muskoka b) Th…
