Dartmouth, NS – After finding definitive proof his wife was having an extramarital affair, local husband Nathan Wexler is using his newly freed up evenings to catch up on his Netflix queue.…
Culture
Coachella fans really bummed this new Trump hologram is looming over the entire festival
INDIO, CALIFORNIA – As millennials flock to this year’s Coachella festival, music fans were stunned to discover a giant hologram of President Trump. “I mean, they had a hologram with …
Jennifer Lawrence hopes Tommy Grant of Glendale, AZ asks her to prom
BEVERLY HILLS — A-List Hollywood actress Jennifer Lawrence is reportedly waiting for an elaborate viral promposal video from 17-year-old high school student Tommy Grant, of Glendale, Arizon…
Jian Ghomeshi announces new podcast that will download to players without your consent
TORONTO – After being acquitted of multiple sexual assault charges last year, disgraced Q host Jian Ghomeshi is getting back into broadcasting with a podcast that your iPhone will download …
Beleaguered Kendall Jenner launches #kendALLlivesmatter campaign
LOS ANGELES – Facing backlash for her poorly received protest-themed Pepsi commercial, reality tv star Kendall Jenner has created the hashtag #kendALLlivesmatter to raise awareness of her p…
Newlyweds spend evening carefully cropping squalor out of Caribbean honeymoon photos
Banff, AB – After popping open a bottle of red wine and updating to the newest version of Photoshop, newlyweds Karen and Derek Miles spent a romantic evening carefully removing any trace of…
Political cartoonist under mistaken impression that political cartoonists have never been more important
OTTAWA – Robert Belmont, a cartoonist who contributes editorial cartoons to several major newspapers, incorrectly believes that political cartoonists have never been more important than the…
Inclusivity win! Disney adds gay character to ‘Song of the South’ remake
Get ready Disney fans. In a progressive move, Disney has promised its new Song of the South remake will also feature a gay character. “We understand that times have changed, and we need to change…
Fred Penner reinvents his music by joining death metal band
WINNIPEG – Canada’s beloved children’s music performer and two-time Juno winner is reinventing his brand of music as lead vocals in a local death metal band. Fred Penner, 70, announced that…
5 classic novels to hide your 2nd grade reading level
Reading is hard. The words just go on and on piling up onto each other until they overwhelm you with their complexity and volume. But the fact that you have the same level of literacy as a 7-year…
