Chatham, ON – Local pharmacist and long-time white supremacist Alex Robichaud has had it with the Southern Ontario alt-right community, declaring that young racists today have it “way too easy”. …
Culture
Local dog spends weekend on couch binge-licking
KAMLOOPS – This past weekend saw Barkley, a Chocolate Labrador, spend nearly all of his waking hours on the couch, seemingly unable to stop cleaning his genitals with his tongue. The binge …
Portraits Of Canadiocity: Sarah Polley
Sarah Polley: The saddest Canadian?…
Property Brothers can’t repair relationship with Property Dad
TORONTO – With numerous television seasons and countless home sales under their belts, ‘Property Brothers Jonathan and Drew Scott should be on top of the world. However, there is one major …
Unpatriotic man finds Tragically Hip just ‘all right’
NAPANEE, ON – Local man and traitor of Canada Rory Emery was overheard stating his rather unenthusiastic support for the nation’s band, The Tragically Hip. Emery, 31, made the seditious cla…
Come From Away celebrates award win by screeching-in Tony audience
NEW YORK — The cast and crew of the renowned Canadian musical, Come From Away, celebrated their Tony Award win for ‘Best Musical Director’ by officially screeching in every audience member …
Study finds William Fichtner is the name of the guy
LOS ANGELES – According to a new study, the guy’s name – you know, the guy from that one thing – is William Fichtner, a Long Island-born actor with over 80 credits to his name, including se…
Area woman so busy she doesn’t even have time to eat yogurt.
TORONTO – Forced to juggle career, family and an active social life, local woman Carole Vonn was unable to find any time in her busy schedule to eat yogurt this week. “I knew that bei…
Hedley celebrates 14th anniversary of benefiting from CRTC laws
ABBOTSFORD, BC – Pop-punk band Hedley celebrated their 14th anniversary of profiting from the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission Canadian content rules. As per the …
Sean Hannity reports Clintons killed Sean Hannity, while slowly raising pistol to own head
NEW YORK – After months suggesting the DNC was responsible for the murder of Seth Rich, Fox News reporter Sean Hannity is now reporting the Clintons have assassinated Fox News reporter Sean…
