By: Amanda Caparillo Since it has come to light that R. Kelly has been imprisoning underage girls in a sex cult for several years, I have considered acknowledging his crimes, but that song “Remix…
Culture
Man proud of Western Culture mostly just seems to like Seth MacFarlane
EDMONTON – Although he claims pride in the culture and traditions of the West, local man Eric Arlin mostly just seems to enjoy movies and TV shows written by Seth MacFarlane. “It’s time the…
Local man hates new fantasy series that he’s absolutely going to read all of
CALGARY – After throwing down the first volume in disgust, local man Eric Patel declared that the new fantasy series Swords of Korregon is terrible but that he’s definitely still going to r…
Yuppie rat colonies continue gentrification of lower income sewers
TORONTO – As part of Toronto’s continuing trend of gentrification, rats from Rosedale, Forest Hill, and other affluent neighbourhoods have begun colonizing lower income areas througho…
George R.R. Martin stoked to find out how Game of Thrones ends
NEW MEXICO – In a statement given to reporters ahead of the seventh season finale of hit HBO show Game of Thrones, George R. R. Martin (author of the unfinished book series it is based upon…
If only Jerry Lewis had died 20 years ago we’d have a lot of good things to say about him
By: Henry Clarkson This morning we learned of the death of legendary comedian Jerry Lewis and I think I speak for the entire world when I say that if this was 1997, I would have been really bumme…
Johnny Depp surprises kids at local hospital dressed up as Amber Heard’s abuser
VANCOUVER – Spirits were high at the BC Children’s Hospital this week when actor Johnny Depp made a surprise appearance fully made up and in costume as the man who abused Amber Heard.…
We ranked the summer’s top five movies with Minions in them
It’s no secret, The Minions are getting a lot of work in Hollywood these days. But with so many movies featuring these little yellow dudes, it can be hard to choose which movie featuring The Mini…
Controversy erupts after HBO Canada announces alternate history series where French won Seven Years War
OTTAWA – HBO Canada has come under fire after announcing a new series, “QUEBECADA” that depicts an alternate history where the British were defeated by French forces during the Seven Years War. “…
REPORT: If you die in an Escape Room, you die in real life
VANCOUVER – Casting a dark shadow on a favoured millennial pastime, the Intergovernmental Panel on Escape Rooms released a shocking report today that states in no uncertain terms, if you di…
