LOS ANGELES – In celebration of Canadian rock singer Bryan Adams’ most beloved hit, Universal Records announced today that they will be releasing a remastered “honest” ver…
Culture
Bruce Cockburn makes good on promise to obtain rocket launcher, kills son-of-a-bitch
PICTON, ON – Legendary Canadian musician Bruce Cockburn has made good on his threat from his 1984 hit, “If I had a Rocket Launcher” and has finally made someone pay. The 72-year-old prolifi…
Local man completely changes personality after being visited by three ghosts
Ach-To — As tends to happen to people on Christmas, local elderly man Luke Skywalker is alleged to have completely changed his personality with a seemingly supernatural abruptness. It is un…
Canadian government greenlights gritty film adaptation of Don’t Put It In Your Mouth PSA
TORONTO – Hoping to capitalize on millennial nostalgia through a newly awarded government grant, Canadian mega-studio Concerned Children’s Advertisers has greenlit a feature length adaptati…
Our travel expert asks the question no one else dares to…
We sent our favourite chef turned reporter to investigate cultural appropriation in the restaurant industry.…
Hallmark Channel pivots to all Goth Christmas programming
STUDIO CITY, CA – Announcing a major shift in tone, the Hallmark Channel is set to launch a new slate of all Goth Christmas programming for festive Goths. “Our audience was tired of watchin…
CBC’s latest hit show already running out of great Canadians to bake
CANADA – CBC’s latest hit, The Great Canadian Baking Show, has been temporarily forced to halt production as the network searches for more great Canadians that the contestants can bake. “No…
Heritage Minute: Boil Water Advisory
A part of our heritage for how long?…
Revealed: Boomers plan to waste all their money buying bobbleheads in final fuck you to future generations
KITCHENER, ON – Evidence from multiple sources points to a far-reaching plot by baby boomers to waste all the money that could be willed to future generations by purchasing millions and mil…
Adorable! This small town thinks their film festival is relevant!
Stop what you’re doing right now because this adorable small town is going to melt your heart with its sweet innocence! Whitwell, Manitoba is home to the darling 4 year old Whitwell Weekend Film …
