SAN MATEO, CA – Following reports that its newly-released Cyberpunk 2077 game has been riddled with release problems and frustrating glitches, Sony has pulled the game from its online store…
Culture
Woman who forgot to do laundry reluctantly puts on clown suit
TORONTO – Ashley Greenfield woke up this morning to discover that after weeks of putting off doing laundry and hand-washing her underwear in the sink, she was officially out of wearable clothing.…
Star Wars fans excited about new series starring Gleep Glorp, or whoever the fuck
BURBANK, CA – Yesterday, the Walt Disney Company announced 10 new Star Wars TV series starring beloved characters like Dorfus Kent, Ultra Moff Charlie, and Fudge Offal, or some nonsense like that…
Christopher Nolan wants audiences to see movies the right way: sitting in a seat some teenager got to third base in
BURBANK, CA – In the wake of Warner Bros.’ announcement that they will release their entire lineup of 2021 films in theatres and on HBOMax simultaneously, several industry players have come out i…
B.C. makes controversial decision to give first 4000 doses of COVID vaccine to stars of The CW’s Riverdale
VANCOUVER – The government of B.C. has announced how they will be dispensing the 4000 doses of the coronavirus vaccine the province is set to receive next week, and all of them are going to…
Crave clarifies that just because you pay for HBO+Movies doesn’t mean you get to see Movies that premiere on HBO
TORONTO – With Warner Brothers announcing this week that their slate of big 2021 releases; including Dune, Matrix, Suicide Squad 2, and Godzilla Vs Kong will be streaming on HBO Max in the …
Health Canada warns of inevitable “spring wave” of terrible COVID-inspired Fringe plays
OTTAWA – As COVID case numbers across the country rise due to the winter weather, Health Canada is warning about the unavoidable “spring wave” of hazardously ill-conceived pandemic inspired…
Warner Bros. adds additional boob shots to new Tom and Jerry movie to adhere to HBOMax guidelines
HOLLYWOOD – After the announcement that Warner Bros. is set to stream their 2021 lineup on HBOMax, news surfaced that the remake of cat-and-mouse classic Tom and Jerry, must adhere to the c…
Amazon responds to The Queen’s Gambit by ordering limited series about Jenga prodigy
CULVER CITY – In the wake of the worldwide success of the Netflix limited series The Queen’s Gambit, about the rise of fictional chess genius Beth Harmon, Amazon Studios has placed an order…
Man tricked into coma announces new self-help book
NEW YORK – Publishing giant Penguin Random House has announced a new self-help book by a man who, in defiance of every credible medical professional, adopted a dangerous all-beef diet and fell in…
