LONDON – Following years of fomenting hostilities, Liam and Noel Gallagher, founding brothers of British rock band Oasis, have announced a diplomatic breakthrough, each recognizing the other’s so…
Culture
CBC execs explain why they deserve their bonuses
Despite “being forced” to lay off dozens of journalists this year, the CBC was able to afford paying $3.3 million to 45 executives, for an average of over $70,000.00 per person. We re…
Betrayal: That actor is actually British
ANYWHERE BUT ENGLAND – Viewers of a recent celebrity interview experienced feelings of shock and betrayal upon learning that that new actor is actually British, and not American as they por…
Environmental protestor at art gallery accidentally glues self to other environmental protestor
PARIS – In a curious display of activist incompetence, a protestor intent on gluing himself to a famous painting has instead found himself accidentally glued to another, unrelated protestor prese…
Adele releases new song about just going to the mall and hanging out with cute boys
LAS VEGAS – Speaking from her residency in Las Vegas, British singer-songwriter Adele has announced the release of a new single all about spending time at the mall, checking out cute boys, and ju…
Inside Out 3 to feature controversial new emotion, Diarrhea
Disney, United States – After the runaway success of Pixar’s sequel film Inside Out 2, the studio has announced a third film is in the works centering around their most controversial emotio…
Jeopardy brings back worst performing contestants for “Tournament of Dolts”
CULVER CITY, CA — Producers of the popular game show Jeopardy! announced that this year they’ll air their inaugural “Tournament of Dolts.” “Our Tournament of Champions is always a ratings bonanza…
Kids nominated for Drake’s Choice Award
LOS ANGELES – Following his latest nomination for a Nickelodeon Kids Choice Award, rapper Drake has announced that coincidentally several kids are also nominated for his long-running Drake’…
Sad about Alice Munro’s death? Here are 5 Alice Munro short stories that will make you way sadder
Alice Munro, the Nobel prize winning author, master of the short story, and person who wrote the best description of the human penis in all of literary history, has passed away at the age of 92. …
All male podcast somehow passes Bechdel test
Toronto, ON – Film historians and critics are flabbergasted after a podcast recorded in Toronto by two men has somehow passed the Bechdel test, used to measure representation of women in fi…