HEAVEN – After years of speculation from fans, God announced today the highly anticipated Golden Girls reunion special is now available for subscribers of Heaven. “We’ve been wa…
Culture
REBEL Night Club adds new COVID-19 safety measures, including ban on men yelling in girls’ ears trying to explain cryptocurrency
TORONTO – A popular night club has added a number of new COVID-19 safety measures to ensure patrons feel safe on their nights out, including a ban on men yelling while explaining their likely fla…
Look who’s joining the cast of season 2 of Bridgerton: the Ask Jeeves butler
HOLLYWOOD – The season 2 cast of the Netflix breakout show Bridgerton has been released, announcing new comer: the Ask Jeeves Butler. Best known for his work as the gentleman’s gentle…
Arts editor slamming fist on desk wants ‘film reviews of Spider-Man, dammit
NEW YORK – H. Henry Harrison, the arts and film editor of the Daily Trumpeter, was heard yelling across the newsroom Thursday that he ‘needed film reviews of Spider-Man’ and he ‘needed them…
FILM REVIEW: Squid Game porn parody gets real weird, real quick
HAMILTON – Hi again, loyal readers! I’m here to give you the inside scoop on everything film and I’m thrilled to tell you all that the newly released porn parody of hit Netflix series Squid Game …
Band reunites to play worst album in its entirety
TORONTO – Yesterday, seminal pop-punk act The Pressgang announced the band will reunite next February to play Elipsis – the group’s objectively worst album – in its entire…
Funeral organist already sweating nervously in anticipation of Sondheim memorial
NEW YORK – Following the death of American musical theater legend Stephen Sondheim at age 91, the organist at the Midtown Synagogue is reportedly “sweating bullets” while attempting to prac…
Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade ends in horror when robe of Baby Yoda balloon falls open, revealing massive genitalia
NEW YORK CITY – Cheers turned to screams today at Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade when a robe malfunction resulted in the Baby Yoda balloon exposing his no-longer-private parts to thousands …
Nickelodeon launching new kids show “That’s Problematic!”
NEW YORK – Leading Nickelodeon’s fall lineup is a new kids show, “That’s Problematic!” The show presents and addresses a myriad of issues that were accepted uncritically by previous generat…
True crime podcasters running out of ways to segue from life-ruining event to mattress commercial
WINNIPEG – Hosts of the smash-hit podcast “A Murder Most Un-Lit” have become mired in one of the most common foibles of true crime fame – the struggle to naturally segue from the rete…
