TORONTO – As Britain’s Prince Harry prepares to wed Meghan Markle this month, a new study has found that people born in the 1980s to early 90s have a higher chance of marrying him than finding a …
Business
Facebook revealed to be pyramid scheme, first users only ones to make friends
Menlo Park, CA – 2.2 billion Facebook users were shocked when it was revealed today that Facebook is the largest friend-based Ponzi scheme in history and the vast majority of users had made…
Rebranded Globe and Mail focuses on core audience: old people who died before cancelling their subscription
TORONTO – The Globe and Mail is making a number of editorial and design changes to better focus on their most loyal demographic, people who have passed away whose families have not remember…
Canadians excited to buy Second Cup marijuana if there’s no Starbucks nearby
VANCOUVER — Following the news that Second Cup will convert some of its coffee shops to marijuana dispensaries, Canadians have resoundingly responded by asking if there’s a Starbucks dispen…
Heartwarming! This family run company is keeping nepotism alive
In an age of globalization, it’s heartening to know that there’s at least one faceless multinational corporation keeping the tradition of the family run business alive: global food giant T. D. Da…
Pizza Pizza introduces new 16” creamy garlic dip
ETOBICOKE, ON- Finally acknowledging that customers merely endure their pizzas in order to get their hands on their dips, restaurant chain Pizza Pizza revealed on Thursday a new 16” creamy garlic…
Apple upgrade: Covering webcam now makes computer’s privacy-invading senses stronger
CUPERTINO, CA — In response to a growing trend of laptop users covering their webcam with bandages or tape in order to avoid being spied on, Apple CEO Tim Cook has announced that such measu…
Costco kiosks offering free sample tastes of bleach
ISSAQUAH, WA – Interested in expanding the selection of products customers may taste before purchasing in bulk, Costco kiosks across North America have begun to offer delicious free samples of bl…
The Brick celebrates first day in 25 years without sales event
EDMONTON, AB – Breaking a decades long sales event streak, The Brick has made today the first day in over 25 years in which their stores aren’t trying to entice customers with some sort of …
New Amazon service will deliver baseball bat directly to your union rep’s knees
PALO ALTO – After Amazon Key revolutionized home delivery by allowing strangers into your house, the retail giant has launched a new service promising to permanently change the way your uni…
