EDMONTON – Following incoming President Joe Biden’s decision to scrap approvals for the Keystone XL pipeline, Alberta Premier Jason Kenney called Biden to personally thank him for “basicall…
Alberta
Alberta comforts grieving families by reminding them that COVID victims will someday turn into oil
EDMONTON, AB – As Alberta surpasses 1400 deaths from coronavirus, the Alberta Conservative government is consoling family and friends by reminding them that, under the right conditions, the…
Breaking: Alberta UCP MLA caught not taking international vacation during pandemic
EDMONTON – An Alberta UCP MLA has been caught not taking an international vacation causing swift condemnation from Premier Jason Kenney. While the MLA has not been named yet, sources say Ke…
Conservatives discover police bad
CALGARY – In the wake of Calgary police arresting, manhandling and threatening to taser a man for violating COVID regulations while playing hockey, the right wing was shocked to discover th…
Kenney defends maskless meeting claiming it wasn’t a workplace since he hasn’t done any work
EDMONTON – After an image appeared of the Alberta premier not wearing a mask at an indoor meeting, Jason Kenney is defending himself saying it wasn’t a workplace since he has not done any w…
Ontario-born man lectures about Alberta Bashing
EDMONTON – Defending his response to Alberta’s deadly pandemic, Oakville, Ontario native Jason Kenney is labelling any criticism directed at him or his government as “Alberta Bashing.” The …
Jason Kenney’s pride now leading cause of death in Alberta
EDMONTON – A new study from the Office of Statistics and Information indicates Premier Jason Kenney’s excessive pride is the new leading cause of death in Alberta. “Hubris is a pre-existin…
Edmonton coyotes excited to finally be included in games of fetch
EDMONTON – Coyotes are excited by a new initiative from the Edmonton Urban Coyote project that involves throwing tennis balls and sticks. The goal of the initiative is to scare coyotes in o…
Alberta’s tough new COVID measures force indoor coughing competitions to end by 10:00 pm
EDMONTON – In response to rising COVID-19 case numbers, Alberta Minister of Health Tyler Shandro announced stringent new regulations on the province’s popular coughing competitions. “Albertans as…
In return for $4 million from Alberta, NHL players staff busy ICUs
EDMONTON – The $4 million given to the NHL from the province of Alberta will be put to good use now that they’ve drafted NHL players as doctors, nurses, and other medical technicians. “We a…
