TORONTO — In a move contrary to the apparent benevolence, most of the presents in the WestJet’s Christmas Miracle video were taken from Air Canada’s lost luggage room, re-boxed, wrapp…
Wikileaks Secret Santa ends prematurely when identity of Secret Santa is posted online
THE INTERNET – What started as an effort to boost the morale of the activists who make up Wikileaks turned into a disaster Thursday when the details of the website’s Secret Santa gift excha…
Local jewish man drives Hummer 3 blocks to celebrate miraculous oil conservation
THORNHILL – When Samuel Rosen’s mother guilt-tripped him into attending the last night of Hanukkah, he reluctantly got into his Hummer and drove the 256 metres to her house. Asked by his mildly e…
Local man creates world peace by flipping Risk board
Bancroft, ON – After hours of strife and heartache, Milton Meagher put an end to senseless slaughter of lives and global total warfare by flipping the Risk board upon which he and his warlord co…
Pretentious stereotypes in Arcade Fire force audiences to dress up as pretentious stereotypes
MONTREAL – In a move designed to break down the wall between performers and their audience, the hipster clichés in Arcade Fire have announced that their fans will have to dress up as hipste…
YouTube Commenter mourns the loss of his freedom to anonymously post “PENIS”
Bismarck, ND – Jason Friedman was shaken by the discovery that his hard-earned freedom to post inflammatory comments under an assumed name had been revoked by YouTube. Friedman, the troll f…
Local teen takes a stand against ageism by not offering 83 year-old seat on bus
MONTREAL – Public transit officials are congratulating 16-year-old Harrison Grady for standing up against age discrimination by not giving up his seat to octogenarian Edith Perkins when she hobbl…
Report: Hanukkah is 8 days long to allow for alternate spellings
NEW YORK – Judaism’s oldest mystery was solved on Wednesday when the Rabbinical Council revealed that Hanukkah is 8 days long to accommodate all of the holiday’s potential english spellings…
Police background check clears Bryzgalov to work with children, Edmonton Oilers
EDMONTON – Part-time goalie and full-time astronomer Ilya Bryzgalov is now able to make his first start for the Edmonton Oilers, after a police background check cleared him to play with Chi…
TSN anchors suddenly really excited for upcoming curling season
TORONTO – Following the NHL’s surprising announcement that Rogers Communications, and its Sportsnet tv stations, would have exclusive rights to nationally broadcast hockey games for the nex…
