VANCOUVER – In what every Vancouver resident has said was an “utterly predictable eventuality,” one of the tankers that line English Bay has leaked tons of “we totally saw…
I wish my Australian roommate would quit calling me a cunt all the time
Do you have problems with your roommates? Do they come home late and make a lot of noise? Do they use up all the hot water? Do they call you a cunt? No? Mine does. He’s always just bursting into …
Fat guy, plus-sized woman walk through park holding hands
TORONTO – Observers at a local park yesterday watched as a really fat man walked holding hands with a curvaceous woman. “They were possibly a couple,” said one witness of the balding, overw…
Harper tells Putin to ‘get out of Ukraine’
At the G20 Conference in Australia last weekend, Prime Minister Harper had a brief showdown with Russian President Vladimir Putin, telling him to “Get out of Ukraine.” What’s your say? “So…
Saskatchewan newlyweds fined for not wearing Roughriders jerseys in wedding photos
CARNDUFF, SK – Newlyweds Aimee and Nigel Toupin received a hefty fine from the provincial government this week for not wearing Saskatchewan Roughriders jerseys in any of their wedding photo…
TORONTO 2014: The Beaverton’s Guide to voting in a way that pleases our advertisers
Our handy voter’s guide is designed to avoid political ideology and help you make non-partisan choices based on who will benefit us most through advertising and sponsorship deals. MAYOR SPOT OLIV…
Awareness campaign successfully increases awareness
TORONTO – A month-long awareness raising campaign reached its goal of spreading awareness this morning. “Thanks to all our amazing sponsors, staff and incredible volunteers, our ‘Hope for T…
Thank you mom and dad for letting me follow your version of my dream
By Alexander Botschinsky Today I want to thank you Mom and Dad, for the support you’ve given me throughout my life, and for letting me follow all of my dreams, goals and passions in a way that c…
World’s major deities mutually agree to give up on humans and try luck with different species
THE HEAVENS – The world’s major religious deities have mutually agreed to give up on human beings and start fresh with a new species. Citing current international atrocities and a long hist…
